Being thankful should be so easy. I know all the things I have to be thankful for, and yet I find myself wanting to complain all the time and having a hard time not being cranky all the time. This week I have been especially irritated at everything, pretty much all the time.
I was/am irritated that my B-H contractions turned to real contractions and then no baby. I’m irritated that Eila and Josiah aren’t perfect and that my house is constantly in need of cleaning and we always need to eat. I should be thankful that we have a really nice house and lots of toys and art projects to make messes with and plenty of food to eat. I should also be thankful that baby boy is developing perfectly and that my body is getting ready for labor. I should be thankful, and I’m trying… sort of.
I love Sundays. In our house, we try to keep them as a family day. Church can sometimes be a little busy since Brian and I often have to be there at different times with varying responsibilities, but today we were both just regular church attenders. On Sundays, I especially enjoy Brian helping with dinner and often making it all complete with grocery shopping since we are often out of food at this point. Today was no exception and he took Josiah to the grocery store with him, while Eila finished napping. We had family nap time and then went for a walk around the block enjoying the great outdoors. We all cleaned up together after dinner and then watched the space shuttle launch. And, Brian and I watched the end of High School Musical 3. It was a perfect lazy Sunday.
You probably are already aware that I place a very high value on spiritual things and believe that my God is who He says He is (in the Bible) and can do what He says He can do.
This particular pregnancy has been a little bit more difficult for me than my previous ones, which were fabulous and relatively perfect. I still enjoy pregnancy and have no real complaints. However, when this baby boy was breech I was complaining a lot. Carrying a breech baby was terribly uncomfortable for me physically, plus I was very stressed over the prospect of having major surgery just because he was in the “wrong” position. After he turned and then re-turned to breech position despite my doing all the right exercises, I prayed and knew that God was telling me to just relax and trust Him. I was assured that although I have no real control over this baby now nor will I be able to control everything when he is born, God is able to handle it all and knows exactly what should and will happen. So, I decided to relax and trust God and not do all the crazy exercises and techniques for turning a baby. I did write it on the prayer list for our church and asked a few close friends and family to pray for the baby to turn and me not to freak out no matter what happens.
This was all about 2 weeks ago and the night of our church prayer meeting (last Wednesday), I was again treated to the rather obnoxious full position change of “baby brother.” This time, however, he has stayed put and seems to be settling in nicely. I am much more comfortable and totally at peace knowing that God answered this prayer and that He has it all under control.