Stay-At-Home-Mom. I sometimes feel like this is the wrong title for the position that I’m in. First off, I rarely stay at home. Being a mom sort of requires that you not stay anywhere for very long. If we don’t have errands, classes, meetings, appointments, etc. then we have grass, trees, flowers, bugs, etc. to explore. Even if we are at home all day, we are pretending to be somewhere else, doing something else.
I also feel like SAHM implies one who is not working, but in fact the opposite is quite true, as I find that this is much more exhausting and demanding work than any other that I’ve done – emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.
I, of course, had a busy (very fun) day not staying at home as a mom. Maybe, I’m just feeling a bit like going out and being the kid and regretting the title that says I’m not…
Last week, I was the speaker for the MOPS group that I attend. The topic I was asked to speak on was Healthy Living, which is something that I’m fairly passionate about. I was hesitant to commit for several reasons: Thaddeus had not made it through an entire MOPS meeting without needing me, I enjoy learning about healthy living, but am no expert nor do I want others to think I am (and hold me to some sort of standard), I hadn’t spoken in front of or taught a large group in many years and was frankly a little scared at the prospect of “teaching” my peers, I was a little concerned about when and how I would prepare for a talk as I can barely keep up with the laundry and the daily tasks involved in caring for three children, helping my hubby and keeping house, and the list goes on.
Yesterday, the speaker at the women’s retreat I attended shared a quote from Henry Blackaby, “I have come to the place in my life that, if the assignment I sense God is giving me is something that I know I can handle, I know it probably is not from God. The kind of assignments God gives in the Bible are always God-sized.” I don’t know if I agree with this statement for myself, but I do know that the MOPS speaking thing was something that I really couldn’t do on my own and yet I sensed clearly that God was asking this of me. So, I did it. It was a lot of work: 18-20 hours of total prep and practicing (and I know it didn’t have to be so much, but I am what some call an overachiever or perfectionist and don’t know how to stop!) But, truth be told, I really enjoyed it (aside from knowing that Thad had cried for an hour before he collapsed into a weary sleep).
However, I don’t think I’m ready to do anymore for a while and I’ll be returning to my little bubble at home focusing on the little ones I’ve been called to cuddle, correct, and otherwise care for…
I mostly love having boys, but sometimes the fascination with gross stuff is more than I enjoy. I know that my boys are still really young and this is only the beginning, but today was about my limit of bugs and boogers.
Thaddeus is teething or has a cold or both and has a constant stream of snot that stretches out from anything he touches, including me. You should be thanking me that I decided not to post the picture I considered. I used less than 25 words to describe it to you, imagine what the picture would’ve said…
Very early this morning, as I am getting out of bed, Josiah starts talking: Mom, I just saw a spider ant.
J: Right here, but he went away. He’ll be right back. He just went to get dressed.
M: Ok. (leaving to go to the kitchen)
A few minutes later…
J: He’s dressed. There’s the ant spider!
J: Come see. Look!
M: (coming and seeing that it’s a centipede, then grabbing the nearest book and smashing this bug.) Oh!
J: What’s that? Oh, he pooped. That’s him poop.
Later in the day, Josiah and Eila are on the porch letting ants tickle their arms.
They open the door and come running in.
Josiah, proudly announces: An ant went up my nose!
J: It crawled right up here. (sticking his finger in his nose)
M: Did it come out?
M: Good. How did it feel?
J: Tickles. Him was trying to eat all the boogers.
Not too long ago, I cleaned the windows – inside and out. I know, I know, this isn’t really blogworthy info, but I’ve never actually cleaned all the windows before, so this is big news. And, I didn’t even do most of it. I had my kids do it. Well, actually they were begging me to clean them, so I finally gave in.
They sprayed my mixture of white vinegar and water in a dollar store spray bottle all over and mostly rubbed it clean. It only took about 30 minutes and now we’re all set for the next eight years.
Systems of organization used to be my forte, but now I feel like I’m in a perpetual whirlwind of piles and things to do. And yet, I choose not to do most of those things piled up and waiting to be done…
Today, my excuse was that the weather was too nice, so we had to go outside and play. The same will be true tomorrow. We are playing and growing and learning and sometimes doing the other stuff.
I like to think that I’ve changed in some way and matured – choosing to do the important over the urgent, but I still like to control everything and one day I hope that I’ll have it all under control too without doing any of the work…