Admitting Mistakes
Hard, but necessary. I always like to be right and fight hard to prove that I am even when I really know that I’m not. I tend to believe the lie that if I’m wrong, I’m a failure and deserve to be punished or at the very least not to be loved.
I recently made one of my more obnoxious attempts to be right despite all evidence to the contrary. Eila, however, is just as determined as I am and proved me wrong. She was NOT ready to be done with her pacifier, despite my frustration with her having it. She simply could not adjust to all the changes that have occurred in the past few weeks – moving out of her crib, then into a twin bed and then no pacifier. Losing her pacifier was the straw that broke the camels back. Eila just went right over the edge into crazy, crazy toddler. She couldn’t cope and couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep without her pacifier, so instead she’d just cry. This constant screaming made me crazy as well and this is not a good combination. In the end, I had to apologize to Eila for trying to make her grow up too fast and depriving her of sleep and getting angry at her for not meeting my expectations and demands. Fortunately, she was all too glad to have her pacifier back that she quickly forgave me and said a heartfelt “Thank you” as she climbed under the covers and went straight to sleep.
Just think, if I weren’t so stupid and stubborn, we all could’ve slept lots more in the past two weeks and saved ourselves a lot of irritation! All in the name of being right…