I have always prided myself on being someone who lives according to her convictions. A life based on values and priorities not just letting things happen. Somehow, I am not sure that this is still true of me. I want it to be true, but I am not sure that it is.

There are a few reasons for this doubt:

1) I’m very tired and busy chasing my dear toddler many days and therefore don’t do what I have planned.

2) I am not planning my days. There are many days when I look back and feel like I could’ve and should’ve been more deliberate and productive with the time given me.

3) I’m not entirely sure what I value or want my priorities to be at this point.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m living more in line with my values and priorities than ever.

There are several reasons for this confidence:

1) I’m very tired and busy chasing my dear toddler and don’t do all the things I have planned (ie. cleaning, cooking, exercising, etc.)

2) I am not planning my days completely. Instead, I am allowing the special moments of Eila’s days to be just that rather than a series of activities and events and things to accomplish.

3) I know that I do value time with people and training Eila in godly ways, and am spending my time in these pursuits, but little else.

Basically, I am a little confused about if my life is being lived to its fullest or if I should be making changes to ensure an authentic and purpose-filled life. I guess I need to spend a little more time in communion with God over this one because He is the One with the plan for my life, not me…

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