Shannon Yee

I’ve put a lot of things on hold since the end of my pregnancy, and am still recovering from the aftermath of that pregnancy (another kid!)
Having three kids is a lot harder than two and I’m pretty tired at the end of the day which is when I used to do all the things that needed to be done without my children’s “help”.
One of these days, I might get around to starting and maybe even finishing one or two things on my ever growing list.

After about a month of constant help, I ventured into the world with all three kids and it is a lot like adjusting to two kids for me. The hard part is not having a new baby, but the same other kids who have a slightly more tired mom with a little less patience and reasonable, logical thinking. A continuation of pregnancy sort of, except that I’m more comfortable physically and can take the baby out if desired…

Today I’ve only had all three kids for a short while and yet still I’m thinking that three is two too many. I’ll keep #3 and lend out the others to any adventurous and brave soul who will take them… ;p

In just three hours, #2 has succeeded in clogging the toilet with an entire roll of toilet paper – unrolled and shoved in, throwing a ball and racket at #3, smothering #3 with a blanket, waking #3 from a sound sleep by screaming as loudly as possible over and over, spitting all over #1 and the table, breaking a doll house and making #1 cry, taking over everything that #1 has and infuriating her. He has also eaten, read books, jumped on the couch and laughed a lot.

Child #1 has screamed and yelled at everyone, smashed her head into the wall, fallen off a chair AND table, tried to twist #2’s arm backwards, and kissed #3 more times than I can count. She has also sang and danced the entire time and changed clothes about six times. She did clean up her room too.

Edit (10 minutes later): The boys are sleeping and the girls are both calm and so glad that those boys are finally sleeping. They needed it!

My good friend, Andie, lent me a book (that I lent out to another friend) that really has changed the way I parent. I knew I had a problem and needed to get some practical help as well as deal with the root issues of my problem. Well, Julie Barnhill’s book came along at the right time and was exactly what I needed to hear and act on.

I love to read, and Julie Barnhill is a very funny gal whose books are quick, easy reads, but that was not the case for this book. This book had its funny parts and is a quick read, but she has stopping points throughout the book with questions to ponder and action points. I usually just read these types of questions and answer in my head since writing answers requires so much effort. However, I knew that I really needed to process these things and to have accountability to make changes, so I wrote down my answers to all of the questions. I was easily able to see where I struggled and what changes I needed to make.

The gist of it is that anger has its place and is a good response when things are not as they should be – injustice and evil – and as long as anger motivates us to act in love and bring about good changes then it is not a problem. For most people I know, myself included, that is not usually the case when I lose my temper. I am angry at my kids for not living up to my expectations or at myself for making poor choices and then am impatient and unkind toward those around me not out of love to make them better, but just because I’m immature and would rather throw a fit. In my angry outbursts with my kids, there are times that the anger is properly motivated, but my outburst is not loving or effective in bringing about the change that is desired. So, the way to change is through prayer and focusing on the truth and love of God, along with some very simple techniques like counting to ten or taking a deep breath before I speak, taking time outs myself when I feel my body heat rising and jaw clenching.

I had wanted to post my thoughts on my birthday about the previous year and hopes for the upcoming year… I had actually wanted to do that at the new year, but my good intentions didn’t amount to much.

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but since I am a woman of many words, who knows how much I will actually write.

I am very blessed in every way. I have a fabulous family (both immediate and extended, including my in-laws and step-family and all the others too!) My husband has a great job that he enjoys with relative security, given that we live in the worst-hit area economically. I have two healthy and bright kids. I am pregnant and love it. I cannot think of anything that I should be able to complain about.

So, for this year I really want to focus on being grateful and showing my thankfulness and contentment in all that I do. Practically speaking that means simple things like just expressing appreciation out loud or in writing more often. It also includes things like being more patient with my kids and showing satisfaction who they are now even when I don’t like what they are doing or it is messing up my plans. And I have lots of plans every day, but gracefully accepting the inevitable disruptions is a big part of being grateful, I think.

I guess even though I’m now in my thirties, I am still a work in progress and really not that much farther along in many ways than my two and four year-olds. I am thankful though that I get the chance to make some changes and grow each day.

I just can’t start again.

It seems like I just don’t have anything worthwhile to share and that I don’t have time to share what isn’t really worth posting in the first place…

So, all this to say, I’m going to read a book to my kids now and we just finished playing a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders followed by Memory. I was soundly beaten by my newly 4-year old daughter, who just got poked by her brother with a drum stick.

Today was one of those days that I wish I could start over and change just about everything. It was rainy and gloomy all day – still raining steadily.

I stayed in bed too long and didn’t enjoy a few moments with my husband before he left for work.

While I was in the shower, I was greeted by whines and screams as Josiah couldn’t make the blanket stay on the pillows.

When I got out, I realized that he had also peed on the couch, dumped out all the baskets in my bedroom and emptied the huge cedar chest at the end of my bed.

Eila ran around yelling at him to clean it up; she really didn’t want to wear shoes or a coat, until she saw the rain and then had to change completely. She ran through all the puddles as she went to the car and “ruined” her shoes (with great sobs.)

We were late for the meeting I was heading to. We never made it to the library or the grocery store.

Returning home, Josiah dumped water all over the rug in the living room. I yelled at him and put him in time out for getting more water after I told him to stop. He then tried to flush Eila’s sweater. I yelled again and sent him away and then lectured him.

Eila and I played Wii and then she whined and cried because I tried to help her navigate. I yelled at her that she can’t yell at me like that. She then threw a huge fit while I left to give her and me some space; it lasted for about 40 minutes when she was suddenly quiet – and asleep.

A few moments later Joe woke from his short nap and needed lots of cuddling and requesting candy.

Josiah asked me to help him put socks on his hands and then tried to climb into the oven – because that’s where Joshie was waiting for him.

While I tried to awaken Eila from an impromptu and late nap, he squished up all her orange slices and made orange juice. I yelled some more. I am very good at yelling, but now my throat hurts a little.

While I emptied the dishwasher and Josiah “helped” me and then went to play somewhere. He was actually painting with real house paint – one-half gallon dumped in the laundry room and on the already painted and previously ready-to-hang door for Eila’s new room. He got paint on the very few maternity clothes that fit me well and look okay… Fortunately, Brian came home at this point for about an hour before he left for a work dinner party. So, he got assigned to try to wake up Eila again.

Eila whined and whined. Then, Eila screamed and yelled and kicked and threw one of the biggest tantrums I’ve ever seen from her, which is really saying a lot, since she is a drama queen.

I moped and pouted about not going to a girls’ night out dinner with my friends and did puzzles with Eila until I couldn’t do any more.

I guess it was just a typical day, but I had a bad attitude all day and wish I had responded differently at so many points throughout the day…

And it’s a boy!

We had a great ultrasound on Wednesday and got the good news that we are having another baby boy. I was actually very stressed going into the ultrasound because I haven’t been feeling the baby much at all yet and although I’ve gotten much bigger since preconception, I am not hugely pregnant yet – not that I’m complaining…

I am very relieved to have seen our baby happily moving around and even sucking on his hand. It was amazing. His heart and brain and everything are great and he is even measuring a little bit further along than expected (about 6 days, so not much). We have a couple of pictures including a great shot of his spine, which Eila thinks looks like a snake and therefore has given him the nickname “Snakey.”

Now we only have to come up with a boy’s name. We are open to suggestions as long as you don’t expect a positive response to them.

So, today was Josiah’s visit to the allergist and after two hours, I came away with a prescription for singulair and an epi-pen as well as a tired and hungry little boy, whose skin test showed no allergies. It seems strange to me that despite a clear skin test, the allergist felt that the evidence was strong enough for Josiah to need me to carry an epi-pen around everywhere we go. He went for a blood test too, but we’ll discuss those results in a month. In the meantime, we are to continue to stay away from dairy and also eggs now. Plus, Josiah is to get a bath of at least 30-minutes each and every day followed by lots of lotion.

I don’t know if I’ll fill the prescriptions, but the allergist made a good case for the singulair especially since Josiah seems to be getting a little cold now and that is a big trigger for his asthma. I hate to disboey orders and not follow directions, but at the same time my main role (IMO) as his mom is to take care of him as best I can. Part of taking care of Josiah includes not pumping him full of unnecessary drugs and also taking the steps needed to prevent the preventable (like breathing problems due to a cold.)

This past weekend was momentous for the Yees as it was the first time I left for more than a few hours. Brian took off two days from work while I traveled to Dallas for the MOPS Int’l Convention. I had a great time learning and gaining vision and perspective and having a little bit of time to refresh. The trip did result in the complete weaning of Josiah. There is nothing left for him to get, but he is still asking often. He seems okay with a chocolate (rice) milk substitute, even if a little disappointed. This means that I am able to resume a normal diet as full of dairy as I desire.

Eila is very hopeful that she will have a little sister in about 6 months. I am now over 14 weeks pregnant with baby #4 and Eila has been very clear that she would like this one to be a girl. We’ll find out on November 5, God willing, if she is going to get her wish. I am feeling pretty good, if a little bit tired. The kids have been really interested in the baby since we checked out a very informative book from the library (maybe a little TMI was included in the first reading, but Eila hasn’t seemed to notice the skipping of the middle since then!)

This is where I often live during the day. Like right now, during what is supposed to be nap time, but is actually something more like wrestling and gymnastics with lots of laughing and squealing. And yet, I choose to sit here and pretend that all is right in our house and that they are just getting the last wiggles out before settling themselves in and sleeping for a good long time. Denial of reality isn’t always a bad thing.