Shannon Yee

I have a tendency to be a bit ambitious, to bite off more than I can chew, to think that it won’t be *that* much work, and to consequently be disappointed and miserable. I am not an optimist as you might presume given my overly optimistic predictions of what can be done in an hour, day, week or even year. Rather, I am just foolish or in denial about how things really work. I want to be able to do all the things on my list and have my husband do all the of the things on my “Honey Do” list, so I try to wish it into reality.

While I was at the Hearts at Home conference, one of the speakers said that your misery factor is the ratio of your expectations to reality. If your expectations are unrealistic, you are bound to be very miserable. On the other hand, when you have hopes that are plausible, you have a real chance of being successful and feeling great! Unfortunately, I cannot seem to grasp what realistic expectations look like.

I have written down a list of what I wanted to do during Brian’s break from work over Christmas and while my family is in town. It is a little longer than I thought is was and I’m already disappointed because I am realizing that most of it probably won’t get done. Yet, I am looking forward to crossing things off this list and seeing how much gets accomplished in the end – and secretly hoping that it all gets done. Maybe I’m ambitious, but that is a good thing, right?

I have been reading a lot lately hoping to get some insight into how to make parenting two little ones easier. What I’ve come to understand is that it will be hard and that it’s supposed to be that way!

The strategies that I’ve employed include: offering choices, making demands, bribery and rewards, timeouts (for kids and mommy), lecturing, yelling, getting really annoyed and frustrated, and of course, threatening. I’ve even started to smack little hands occasionally, but I’m still not a fan and don’t want that to be a part of my repertoire as I would also like to remove yelling and all of those sorts of techniques.

Natural consequences and practicing good behaviors are new in my bag of tricks and are proving to be very useful as well as effective for Eila. She has learned that her feet get cold when she doesn’t wear socks or shoes outside and that it’s important to wear her seatbelt at all times in the car (we practiced this one, as it’s not loving in any way to risk death or injury by allowing natural consequences). At 15 months, Josiah is just not able to make the connections necessary yet. Although, after his spill down the stairs, he consistently turns around rather than trying the face first approach he goofed with that time!

I’m still having a lot trouble coming up with suitable “punishments” for certain crimes. For example, earlier this week, Eila opened all the drawers in her dresser and climbed up them to the top and opened the blinds on the window. She has done this before and knows that it is not allowed. But, what would help her really get it and how dangerous it is (especially with Josiah watching and taking notes at the bottom drawer)?

For whining, I’m so inconsistent. It really annoys me and so I often give in, which is not effective, but it stops the extremely aggravating sound emanating from my kids… I guess my thinking is sort of along the lines of: “This strategy isn’t stopping that noise, what else can I do?”

I’m always open to those with the answers. 🙂

I find myself often up alone at night. This is when I’m able to get all my computer work and emailing and also computer fun done. I am also finding that hours can slip away without my even realizing it.

I enjoy this time to myself and generally feel a little more calm and able to rest better if I get all my ducks in a row before I go to bed. Although, sometimes I check email or read blogs or whatever I do on the computer and I find myself more wound up and stressed about all the other things that I need to or should do. As a perfectionist and introvert this is always the problem – I desire time to myself to regroup, but I want to be as productive and efficient with that time as possible – especially since that time alone is so precious and rare right now.

On the flip side, I love to spend late nights with my husband chatting and reconnecting, and am frustrated or disappointed when the computer gets in the way – even if by my choice. It must be getting late, since I don’t think I’m making sense anymore…

Sometimes I wonder what I do as a stay at home mom… I’m at home very little, so the title in itself is a bit off, but maybe I should be home more. I’ve been thinking lately that having kids so young is really fun when I take the time to enjoy them and play with them – doing what they want, which is to play with me, while we are at home. Often when we’re at home, I need to cook, clean, or they need to eat or sleep. There could be a lot more time for playing if I looked for it rather than trying to move ahead with my plan for the day.

For instance, this past week was VBS, which was amazing in so many ways, but we were out of the house by 8:45am and gone until 12noon every morning. When we got back, it was lunch, then naps, snacks, and then whatever I had planned – shopping, errands, meeting with various people, but no playtime. As soon as we got back again, it was dinner time and then time to sleep. I know that this week was an exceptionally busy week, but I still can’t help but wonder if I’m just letting good opportunities to have fun and enjoy this time with my kids pass me by.

This fall we’ll have something almost every morning, every week and several afternoon commitments too. I don’t want to miss out on the next year, so I think I need to start really evaluating what fits in with our family priorities and then cutting out things that don’t matter as much or where the timing isn’t right. A few years ago, I made a list of 5 life goals/priorities and they still hold true. The test is if I can really be honest about the opportunities and their value to the goals that I believe God has for my life. One of those goals is to be a loving wife and mother, which for me, can only be done by being at home – really being at home.

Is anyone else tired? I have been getting what many would consider more than sufficient amounts of sleep… about 8 hours a night, but I’m still completely exhausted every afternoon. I took a 15-minute nap this morning and still want another one now. Is this laziness? pregnancy? old age? motherhood?

I love the computer for its convenience and ease of finding information, but I have very mixed feelings about shopping online.

It is so stressful to me. I like to be able to see all the angles and hold and test things that I might buy. For example, I wanted to get a book for a friend who is newly pregnant; however, I had to read a ton of different people’s opinions about the books rather than just looking through the book and coming up with my own opinion. (I had a coupon for amazon.com that I wanted to use.) Also, I’ve been looking for a new stroller and again have read hundreds of other people’s opinions on various strollers and they have been helpful, but what I really want is to push the stroller around and try it out. You might wonder why I don’t just go do that… Well, I would, except that most stores don’t carry more than one type of the stroller that I’m searching for and in general it is not put together. So, shopping in the traditional sense isn’t even really an option in this case. Plus, several of the strollers are available only online. How crazy is that!?

Shopping online is also totally comfortable. I am able to do the research to find a good deal, which I enjoy and sit at home while Eila is sleeping peacefully. I don’t have to worry about how long I am taking and that she might get fussy or need something, because if anything comes up, I can just continue shopping later, picking up exactly where I left off.

I have always prided myself on being someone who lives according to her convictions. A life based on values and priorities not just letting things happen. Somehow, I am not sure that this is still true of me. I want it to be true, but I am not sure that it is.

There are a few reasons for this doubt:

1) I’m very tired and busy chasing my dear toddler many days and therefore don’t do what I have planned.

2) I am not planning my days. There are many days when I look back and feel like I could’ve and should’ve been more deliberate and productive with the time given me.

3) I’m not entirely sure what I value or want my priorities to be at this point.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m living more in line with my values and priorities than ever.

There are several reasons for this confidence:

1) I’m very tired and busy chasing my dear toddler and don’t do all the things I have planned (ie. cleaning, cooking, exercising, etc.)

2) I am not planning my days completely. Instead, I am allowing the special moments of Eila’s days to be just that rather than a series of activities and events and things to accomplish.

3) I know that I do value time with people and training Eila in godly ways, and am spending my time in these pursuits, but little else.

Basically, I am a little confused about if my life is being lived to its fullest or if I should be making changes to ensure an authentic and purpose-filled life. I guess I need to spend a little more time in communion with God over this one because He is the One with the plan for my life, not me…

Some blogs are full of people’s deep thoughts – a public journal. I find these extremely interesting to read and yet do not in the least feel comfortable writing such entries or even commenting on them.

Other blogs are superficial – a daily planner/calendar. In some cases, these can be interesting, but most people just don’t do anything that fascinating on a daily or even monthly basis, so again I don’t really want to write or comment on this type of blog.

Still other blogs are a mixture and or only write “interesting” daily events. Usually, these blogs are not frequently updated or read…

I don’t really know what type of blogger I’d like to be. I guess somewhere in the mixture category and as I don’t have a lot of free time or don’t make time for blogging, I probably won’t be updating that regularily (as you may have already figured out!) I think it would be fun for friends and strangers alike to read my thoughts and ramblings and comment occasionally, but I’m okay just writing for myself too.