Asking Advice

It seems like people are often asking me for advice and I gladly oblige because I enjoy telling people my opinion as though it is fact. I am a first born and love to be the boss. Telling people what to do come very naturally for me. Unfortunately, I can appear to know what I’m talking about without actually be informed at all.

The most common reason I am asked for advice is dealing with raising kids. My friends who have children younger than my little toddler or those who are expecting a second child soon. Questions range from feeding, diapering, playing, etc. I do feel that I am fairly well-informed in all of these areas, but I am no expert (despite the way I may sound if you ask me to talk about any of these topics.) I recently gave faulty advice to my sister and am hoping that she didn’t take it.

Folks will also ask me for wisdom on exercising, esp. running. I enjoy running, but really don’t know much other than what I’ve learned works for me. Again, I pass off what works for me as expert experience and knowledge that others can and should take as pearls of great worth. I do read an occasional running magazine, so some information may be accurate, but there is no guarantee.

Basically, I just want to put out a warning to “Ask at your own risk” I am happy to indoctrinate anyone who asks with my philosophies and practical methods of childrearing, running, eating, and anything else, but the asker assumes all liability associated with following any of my suggestions, recommendations, or demands.

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Found on the Internet

I do a lot of reading on the computer (although not anywhere near as much as my husband!) and recently read a few articles that I found thought-provoking. One of them, No More Junk Toys: Rethinking Children’s Gifts, was about changing the culture of gift-giving in America and providing toys that are “timeless” and not morally objectionable in any way (ie. fair trade, etc.)

I found this article a little extreme, but with some valid points. We have so many toys in our house and almost all of them have been gifts. I love that our children have so much to play with and most of the toys are great. Yet, still I feel like I should be a more responsible consumer in regards to the companies and practices that we support – directly or indirectly. Usually, I feel like it’s a lost cause and decide that there’s no use even trying to only buy products and shop at places that have sound financial and moral business practices. Lately, I’ve been thinking about this more and more and want to do something, but now I’m at a loss for where to start. Maybe, I’ll take a trip down to my local fair trade store or look online for a list of companies that invest in or support practices that I am morally opposed to.

By following various links, Brian found out about a want-ad on Craig’s List for a nursing mother to provide milk for 7 adults. While I am an advocate of exclusive breastfeeding for babies and extended breastfeeding past the first year and I know and appreciate all of the health benefits of breastmilk, this strikes me as more than a bit strange. First, I have issues with the logistics of this request. For one woman to pump enough extra milk for 7 adults even to have just one glass a day is nuts – like feeding another growing baby. She’d have to eat and drink so much, she’d hardly have time to pump. Plus, building up an excess supply like that is time consuming. I also feel that excess milk would be much better used on newborns or premies who actually need the milk and not on adults whose digestive systems can handle other foods. I guess I just find these folks a little selfish and bizarre.

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Six Weird Things About Me

Sally tagged me, so here goes.

1. I was voted “Most Talkative” in Jr. High, but cannot think of anything to say to new people that I meet.
2. While being a bit of a perfectionist, my house is never clean. I hate sweeping and vacuuming, so I wait for Brian to do it… I also hate washing dishes, so I only do them as needed (usually about once a week).
3. I used to think that I didn’t like chocolate, but it’s just that I don’t like cheap chocolate (and that’s all my mother had ever given me – no offense, Mom.) I loathe M&Ms and Hershey’s bars, but like brownies and hot chocolate, and especially like Belgian truffles.
4. Recently, I am only interested in movies or TV shows that are extremely clean (rated PG or G) and happy. I really enjoy watching programs geared to young teenagers. I have enough stress and disappointment in life that I don’t want to watch someone else go through that too. I also do not feel any need to defile myself any more than I already do…
5. I am a tandem nursing mother. On rare occasions, I can be found breastfeeding two children at the same time. Usually though, they have to wait their turn.
6. I love being pregnant. Pregnancy agrees with me. My hair is thick and shiny. My skin is clear. I never need a coat (as I am a human furnace during pregnancy. I have a great excuse to eat and sleep whenever. The only drawbacks are limits on carbonated and alcoholic beverages and raw fish.

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Changes

It’s almost time for Josiah to eat again, so this will be quick. But, changes are taking place now. My new baby is starting to sleep better (ie longer) at night and my big girl is starting to speak in sentences and make her desires clearly known. This means, that by the grace of God, just as I need more patience, I am getting more sleep, which invariably helps with the patience… Yeah!

Also, the house hasn’t changed nearly as much as I’d imagined for having a newborn. Going from 0-1 child rocks your world (or at least it did mine), but going from 1-2 kids was a walk in the park and things are basically the same as before, except that there is another baby to take care of. So, the really changes are in the level of noise in the house and the amount of time it takes to get things done – both growing with more children. Also, the amount of love has grown as well and the pleasure at watching them develop and do the things that kids do.

Change is not always bad. In fact, I think I like all of these changes, even the trying ones (like Eila drawing on the walls and floor and peeing on the chair rather than in the potty…)

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Weaning?

My precious baby is now a toddler and some seem very surprised that she is still nursing (~5 times/day). I should probably clarify that most people are most shocked that I am still nursing her rather than that she is still nursing. The majority of negative comments or looks that I’ve received have been at least partially because I am also pregnant. Apparently, it is unacceptable (by some folks, not all) to even consider nursing while pregnant or especially tandem nursing.

Well, Eila is a big fan of “teter” (the french term that we use) and is showing no signs or disinterest or even of the possibility of distracting her from her desired form of nourishment. Now, I must admit that I am also in no hurry to end this part of our relationship. It is a great excuse to sit down together and rest for 5-10 minutes all at once (a rarity for toddlers). It is also a great excuse to eat tons of food (healthy, mind you, but still – I like to eat.) I also like to know that I am providing the very best for her with immunities and antibodies as well as the calories and vitamins and minerals that she needs. God made this food just for her and I want to make sure she gets it.

So, all of this to say that my milk supply is diminishing and the end is coming. I don’t know if it will continue until baby2 arrives and beyond or if Eila will want to stop sooner. I do know that it won’t last forever and that when weaning is over, I will probably be a little relieved (to be able to be away from her for days on end, if needed) and sad (that she could go days on end without needing me).

As for how the weaning process will happen, I have read a lot and gotten lots of advice on the best and worst ways for this. I imagine that it will be a gradual reduction of the number of feeding per day down to just one or two and then she’ll stop asking and I’ll stop offering and then one day I’ll realize that she hasn’t nursed for a couple of days…

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