Shannon Yee

just writing at the family site…
What you see depends on what you’re looking at

The question that I am asked most often is: How are you settling in? or it’s cousin: Are you feeling settled in yet?

Having moved cross-culturally and internationally twice in the last year, I am very much desiring to settle in. But, what does that really mean to me here and now?

I would’ve said that to be settle in was to be feeling peaceful, at home, relaxed, at ease, maybe even that life is easy. I’ve always lived close to family and in a familiar cultural context with good support and now I am living in a completely foreign cultural environment far from extended family, but still with lots of wonderful support. And I think I would say that I’m feeling settled, but it doesn’t mean what I used to think that it meant.

Living in a major city in a region of the world often considered third-world is not easy. Even if some aspects of life are much simpler, others are much more complicated. The difficulties and differences of life here mean that I am learning a new “normal.” This new home has new ways to relax and be comfortable and new ways to interact and relate as well. What once was easy can now be hard and tricky, but I think that the settling in is really about being flexible and adapting. I am definitely finding a new rhythm for life that works for me and my family.

We voted on a family motto before we started moving around the world and “Home is where we are” was the winner. I am home where I am. Yet, I know that I am not really home and won’t be as long as I’m here on earth. My true home is with the one who loved me so much to give all for me. Only then will I be truly at ease, at home, settled in.

It is easy to keep things the way they are and to maintain a certain level of predictability. Transitions, on the other hand, are very difficult. Even little changes in the course of a day, like coming home from work (or having your spouse come back after being at work,) can be tricky to manage well. That is why so many of us prefer to stick it out in a less than ideal situation rather than leave and risk something worse or deal with the changes. This is really true for me. I don’t like change.

It is hard and unsettling and it is especially challenging as a mother watching your kids struggle through a hard transition and not be able to help in any way.
Yet, I also know that when there is something that needs to change, I cannot sit by and just let things continue as though there is nothing wrong. I am reminded of one of my closest friends who has been walking in the light she has. She learned of some abuse happening in a neighbor family and instead of just minding her own business and protecting her family, she has been taking steps to protect those vulnerable children (and her own kids too!) There have been very unpleasant and costly consequences for her and her family, but she continues to push forward, praying and trusting God to lead her and to bring true justice and complete freedom, healing, and protection for those kids. It is the right thing to do, but I don’t know if most people would have taken that first step in her place, or continued once things started getting tough and personal. She keeps taking one step at a time, walking by faith in the light she has, and maybe (more than) a little afraid of the darkness just beyond that light.

Taking action to change things is a long and treacherous path for us creatures who love comfort and pleasure. Walking in the light we have means that we don’t have all the answers and yet we do what we know and can do. We don’t know that it will all turn out fine in the end or that we will “fix” anything, but we do the next thing.

Doing the next thing, taking the next step of obedience to God, praying the next bold prayer, moving to the next phase of life, trusting God for the next minute… This is hard and wonderful. Walking in the light we have means moving forward one step at a time – with fear and faith together. This is my life right now. I love it and hate it all at once. I am full of fear for my kids and yet full of faith in my God who loves them more than I can imagine. I am full of fear for the future and another move that will disrupt our newly established routines and full of faith that He who has called us, goes with us and equips us. I know that I must keep taking the next step but with my eyes not on the things around me.

La Belle Étoile

As I am living in the Alps surrounded by mountains, I cannot help but be reminded of Psalm 121 (NIV):

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

These truths are reinforced each day as I see God’s protection. Eila recently had a really bad bike accident. A car was backing out into her and she was thrown from her bike into the road where she flipped over on her head. Miraculously, there were no other cars driving down the road at that time. She was able to get up and walk away with no marks at all. I can hardly describe my feelings as I watched this happen.

The Creator of the Universe and of the mountains so strong and imposing around me is my helper, my strength and my guide. He is the Light of Life. He gives light for the next step so that I can walk in the light I have.

While at a training for missionaries preparing to go on the field, I’ve had some time away from the regular demands of life and have been able to really process life. We are starting a big transition. We just sold our house. We’ve sold a lot of our possessions and plan to sell a whole lot more next month. We are getting ready to move over 6000 miles away from the family and friends that we love. We are going to be completely out of our comfort zones in nearly every imaginable way.

I am super sad about this move. I am really grieving the losses for myself and my kids. I am at this training for a few weeks, but then I will go back and really begin the hard work of saying goodbye to life as I’ve known and enjoyed it. Sometimes, I can barely breathe under the weight of it all. I am now only dealing with the tip of the iceberg; there is so much hidden beneath the surface.

An Iceberg (credits: Niyazz)

And yet, I am totally at peace. I’ve been doing the hard work to prepare mentally and physically and now I’m starting to really prepare emotionally as well. It isn’t all sunshine and roses, but it is all beautiful. Maybe even more beautiful in the deep sadness that is surrounding me as I reach out for help. God is my ever-present help (Ps 46) and so I need not be afraid.

Often for me the future is frocked in fear, but not this time. Don’t misunderstand, I do have some fears, but I am working to “go toward that!” I am learning to ask God to help me release whatever it is I’m afraid of losing or messing up or whatever. As I am letting God turn my heart toward Him instead of holding tighter to the things I want to control and figure out, I’m finding freedom and hope and great peace. It’s almost like there is some truth to Philippians 4:6-7. 😉

Even in the sadness, I can see God’s with me – his love quieting me, helping me to take the next step forward.

Eila may only be 11 years old, but she is already starting to be all private and moody. She likes to have headphones in pretty much all the time, even if she isn’t listening to anything. Eila is getting taller and taller, soon she will catch me. She wants to spend time with friends and ride the bus to be with the other kids rather than get a ride to school with her parents.

The tween years are upon us. I don’t think I’m ready.

She still likes hugs and cuddles though, so all hope is not yet lost. Thankfully!

I try to be intentional to spend quality time with family and friends. It is important to me that our immediate, nuclear family spend time together. It is also important that we enjoy time with extended family. That becomes more difficult as we all spread out around the country (and soon – the world. Yikes!)

This summer we have had one family fun time after another and it has been really wonderful.

We started off with a wedding for one of my cousins (actually his daughter) in Minneapolis. Then we had a family vacation, tent camping and hiking, exploring and laughing in Michigan’s U.P. We saw the Porcupine Mountains (no Michigan does not really have mountains, but there are a lot of forests!) and Pictured Rocks. We climbed a lighthouse and went on a boat cruise. We swam and skipped rocks in Lake Superior and swatted millions of mosquitos. We spent a few days with friends in Traverse City (so much fun!!) and then made it home in time for the kids to have their own adventures.

After time apart, we were so glad to be reunited and had our annual trips with the Janes’ side and the Yee side. For as long as the kids can remember, we’ve spent a very long weekend at Aunt TeeTee’s, enjoying time with cousins and on the lake. There are official games and lots of snacks and always an ice cream trip too. Then, we went the following weekend to Kalahari with the other side cousins, aunt, uncle and Grandma Karen. They had so much fun at the water park and the arcade and the zip line and the hi-ropes course and even just being in the hotel room. These trips are the highlight for all of us over the summer.

The big trips aren’t the only fun we’ve had this summer. We also enjoyed several trips to the library, the zoo, the village, swim clubs, air shows, and shopping. Our regular routine included plenty of gym time and some church time as well as a few playdates. We didn’t have quite enough trips to the farm (at Miss Barb’s or Walls Nuts Woods), but it’s not too late yet!

We are starting our fall bucket list though as Labor Day and the return to school in quickly approaching… cider mills, hikes through the woods with fall colors, and football games are at the top.

Our missions journey to date has been full of lots of waiting and unknowns. That is sure to continue.

We started to have a clearer picture of what the future might hold in November 2015 when we became members of Wycliffe Bible Translators. December marked the official invitation for us to go to Cameroon. And so, we ended the year with a lot more answers than we started with.

In January 2016, we attended the orientation course, Equip, in Orlando. We learned a lot. Among the lessons we learned that we can plan, but God has the ultimate plan, which may not match ours exactly. Then in February, our Partnership Development (PD) began. We sent out our very first newsletter and began to tell people about what we planned to do (because we finally knew some of those answers!)

Early in March, it became clear that we would have to go to France for language study and so we began researching and learning about that.

As we began to try to learn more in preparation for our move, we were connected with a family in Cameroon and got our buddies in April. (We really do wish this had happened much earlier, maybe if a full year earlier!)

We sent out another newsletter in May and reached the halfway point in our monthly financial partnership promises. This cleared the way for us to attend a required training in NC in the fall.

In June, we decided to attend language school in a small village in the French Alps. From the CCEF, we learned that our classes will start on January 3, 2017.

Now it is July and we are the missionaries of the month at our home church. That means that we are talking in front of the church one Sunday, doing a presentation with some families from our church and that we are being prayed for specifically each Wednesday at prayer.

August and September will be more PD work for us and hopefully our Wycliffe ministry will have a full partnership team. We will send out information to our prayer partners about a specific day to pray for each other each month. We’ve already been praying for each of our partners and this will help us to be more orderly about it. This is also when we will have a garage sale and possibly put our house on the market.

The Intercultural Communication Course (ICC) is another training for Brian and I. So, we will be going to JAARS in NC for the month of October (and one week of November) to study and learn as much as possible to help us in our transition. The plan for the kids is to stay in school and live with their grandparents while we are gone. Brian will likely leave his current job in October as we will be working full-time as missionaries (in training).

We will all need to go to Chicago for a visa interview in November. If all goes according to our plan, we will have our visas in time to leave for France at the end of December 2016. I am also going to try to make a last trip to LA to visit my sister and her new baby girl that should be born at the end of November!

So, January-June 2017, we will be studying French in France and then if everything works according to my plan, we will be fluent and ready to return to the US for a quick visit with family and friends in July 2017. Then we will move to Cameroon by August 2017 so that the kids can start the new school year in our new home.

I sometimes feel stuck in a rut. While I know that there are lots of fun, different, new things that could be done, in the moment, I struggle to come up with anything other than what we did the last time. So, to help myself, and maybe the other person or two who reads this blog: some date night ideas – at home or out – fun things B & I have done…

Obviously dinner at a local restaurant is a standard option. Living in the metro-Detroit area, we have tried and like:
Antietam
Bacco
Barrio
Cellar 849
Forest Grill (we haven’t been back since new chef…)
Lucy & the Wolf
Marais
Mastuchan
Revolver
Roast
Seldon Standard
Tofu House
Zingerman’s Roadhouse

I know there are those who do not love the fine dining experience or are trying not to spend all the money in one meal. Most of our dates, we try to be a little more frugal. Here are some free (or without extra expense, at least) dates that we’ve enjoyed:
Bike riding
Walk in woods
Library visit
Play games – like Agricola
Watch home videos (or movies we own)
Cook dinner together at home
Rollerblading around the neighborhood
Walk along riverfront
Stroll through quaint downtown areas and watch people
Art museum visit
Summer outdoor concert series
Progressive dinner with friends (at each other’s homes)
Relax on deck
Read books
Flying (Brian has his private pilot’s license!)
Clean out basement/garage/bedroom/____ (productive, but not as fun)

Finally, a few ideas we should try:
Segway rental on Hines
Canoeing – just us, no kids!
Dance class
Hot air balloon ride
Hi-ropes course
Lazer tag
Concerts in the park
Ice skating

What ideas do you have?

Lately, Josiah has not been eating as much, which I’m sure will change again, but for now he basically says that he doesn’t want to eat. He claimed to not like the dinners prepared for him. After several days of this, we offered him a new option: make the dinners that he would like. He jumped at the chance and has made dinner so that he can get more of what he wants.

So far from Chef Joe, we’ve enjoyed Mandarin Chicken, cereal, pizza, macaroni and cheese (from the box), Swedish meatballs, sausage, biscuits & gravy (homemade), spaghetti and sauce (from jar) and breakfast casserole (Mrs. Meagher’s recipe – from my wedding shower cookbook!).

These choices may not all be the healthiest or most nutritious, but Josiah seems pretty happy. He is learning some valuable skills in the process too.

I am a girl with many questions. I am also a girl who likes to have all the answers. Unfortunately, I am in a really uncomfortable place for me… a place with many unknowns and therefore lots of potential for growth or failure. Failure is my biggest fear. My husband and I have known for a while that God was calling us to go, to serve full-time in ministry. We have been following God’s lead, one step at a time. Last September, when I began the Revelation study with Bible Study Fellowship International (BSF), I was praying for a revelation of my own, where God would answer all my questions about the future. Well, God has made many things clear in this study of Revelation. For me, the biggest revelation has been Jesus! This study has been a Revelation of Jesus first and foremost.

If I have all the answers, I will rely on myself, but God has opened a huge door and called me, my husband and our three kids to go to Yaound̩, Cameroon Рfrancophone Africa. That was one question answered, but it led to so many more questions with so much potential to fail. Every moment, I have to make a choice: will I freak out because the circumstances around me are far beyond my abilities or will I look at Jesus and trust Him.

Revelation has made me focus on Jesus. Each week at BSF, I’ve learned lessons about God’s sovereignty and power to control everything. Jesus is worthy of praise and complete trust too, even in the midst of seeming chaos. Jesus is victorious, king, lamb, lion, sacrifice, worthy, faithful, true, mighty, perfect, bright morning star, holy, above all, reigning, powerful, just, merciful, living, gracious, beckoning… and so much more. As a children’s leader, each week we ask the kids questions after the story. The kids know that the answer is Jesus. We ask: Who is perfect? Jesus. Who judges rightly? Jesus. Who reigns in heaven? Jesus. Who is coming again? Jesus. This is what I needed to be able to understand the book of Revelation. It isn’t about all the symbols and judgement, though that is in there; it is about Jesus.

The very first week from lecture, I wrote down: “Follow God’s dreams, not mine. Don’t focus on what ‘seems’ to be, but on Jesus.” What seems to be is not always what is… It seems like I am in this awful place where I feel so lost and out of control. I am full of fear. I am overwhelmed and failing as a mother, wife, friend, missionary, children’s leader. I see how I am not measuring up and it seems so hopeless.

I am working hard at developing a partnership team and obeying God’s call, and I am tired, but in my weakest moments and when I keep messing it all up, God keeps picking me up and calling me back to Him. God wants me not to focus on me, but on Jesus. I dream of being perfect and having everything just so. God’s dreams will get me there one day, but His dreams are taking me a different way than I’m inclined to go.

So, the biggest lesson I’ve learned was stating succinctly in the intro to this study, and then repeated each week. “Keep your eyes on the Lamb!” When I have my Jesus in sight, my doubts and questions lead me to worship, not worry. With Jesus in His rightful, central place (Rev. 5:6), I say “Yes, Lord” no matter the cost and am able to take the next step forward in faith, not fear. I can see that the wild place (Rev. 12:6) may really be the safest place because that is where Jesus is.

It seems so hard at times. But then, I look at Jesus and I see all that He has done, eternally, for me and I see Him at work, here and now in the little details. My kids are sharing their deep thoughts openly and asking for prayer. My husband is talking to strangers and friends alike, confidently – if you know him, you understand that this is a huge God-act.

Our financially partnership team for our Wycliffe ministry is at over 60% and that is God’s work. I am humbled to be part of what He is doing. God has brought me from not knowing where or what He was asking me to do last September – to clearly calling me and my family to Cameroon in December, to providing what I need, at exactly the right moment for His glory now. I am often full of tears and fears, but God is so gracious and I’m learning to trust Him each moment and to focus on Jesus, following His dreams not mine.

I don’t like being in this uncomfortable place, not knowing all the answers with great risks, but I know Jesus and with Him, I can take the next baby step. I can be bold and look at Jesus. As I confess my self-focus and repent, my focus changes to Jesus. Jesus is the answer for life and for all my questions too!