Shannon Yee

My good friend, Andie, lent me a book (that I lent out to another friend) that really has changed the way I parent. I knew I had a problem and needed to get some practical help as well as deal with the root issues of my problem. Well, Julie Barnhill’s book came along at the right time and was exactly what I needed to hear and act on.

I love to read, and Julie Barnhill is a very funny gal whose books are quick, easy reads, but that was not the case for this book. This book had its funny parts and is a quick read, but she has stopping points throughout the book with questions to ponder and action points. I usually just read these types of questions and answer in my head since writing answers requires so much effort. However, I knew that I really needed to process these things and to have accountability to make changes, so I wrote down my answers to all of the questions. I was easily able to see where I struggled and what changes I needed to make.

The gist of it is that anger has its place and is a good response when things are not as they should be – injustice and evil – and as long as anger motivates us to act in love and bring about good changes then it is not a problem. For most people I know, myself included, that is not usually the case when I lose my temper. I am angry at my kids for not living up to my expectations or at myself for making poor choices and then am impatient and unkind toward those around me not out of love to make them better, but just because I’m immature and would rather throw a fit. In my angry outbursts with my kids, there are times that the anger is properly motivated, but my outburst is not loving or effective in bringing about the change that is desired. So, the way to change is through prayer and focusing on the truth and love of God, along with some very simple techniques like counting to ten or taking a deep breath before I speak, taking time outs myself when I feel my body heat rising and jaw clenching.

I had wanted to post my thoughts on my birthday about the previous year and hopes for the upcoming year… I had actually wanted to do that at the new year, but my good intentions didn’t amount to much.

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but since I am a woman of many words, who knows how much I will actually write.

I am very blessed in every way. I have a fabulous family (both immediate and extended, including my in-laws and step-family and all the others too!) My husband has a great job that he enjoys with relative security, given that we live in the worst-hit area economically. I have two healthy and bright kids. I am pregnant and love it. I cannot think of anything that I should be able to complain about.

So, for this year I really want to focus on being grateful and showing my thankfulness and contentment in all that I do. Practically speaking that means simple things like just expressing appreciation out loud or in writing more often. It also includes things like being more patient with my kids and showing satisfaction who they are now even when I don’t like what they are doing or it is messing up my plans. And I have lots of plans every day, but gracefully accepting the inevitable disruptions is a big part of being grateful, I think.

I guess even though I’m now in my thirties, I am still a work in progress and really not that much farther along in many ways than my two and four year-olds. I am thankful though that I get the chance to make some changes and grow each day.

Tagged again… Consider your self tagged if you are interested and have a firstborn.

1. WAS YOUR PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yes

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Happy, excited…

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
No, never

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
26

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
A pregnancy test, but I’d been charting and knew based on temps and timing.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
We told both of our parents, but then no one else until quite a bit later.

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Yes

9. DUE DATE?
January 19, 2005

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
No

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Water

12.WHAT IRRITATED YOU?
Lots of stuff, but the same things that irritate me anyway.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD’S SEX?
Female

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
No. I just wanted a healthy baby.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
about 25

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Yes

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
No surprises

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
No

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Providence Alternative Birth Center

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
33

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
Brian

23. DID YOUR WATER BREAK NATURALLY?
Yes. Well, it didn’t really break as much as leak.

24. WAS IT VAGINAL OR C-SECTION?
Vaginal

25. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
No. I had a natural, wonderful birth experience.

26. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Midwife, ABC nurses, and Brian.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
6 lbs. 10 oz.

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
January 16, 2005 at 8:40am

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Eila Rose Yee

30. BIGGEST SURPRISE DURING CHILDBIRTH?
No real surprises, but I guess my being in transition and wanting to push on the way to the hospital was a bit surprising.

31. GREATEST MEMORY ABOUT CHILDBIRTH?
The great support of my husband/coach and the thrill of actually holding a healthy baby in my arms.

31. DID YOU BREASTFEED?
Yes.

32. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
She turned 4 about 2 weeks ago.

I was tagged (a few times and a while ago…), so here it is:

1. I feel badly about hogging the computer and writing this up instead of talking to my husband.
2. My husband is playing WOW and probably glad that I’m not talking to him.
3. I like to give advice, when asked for it especially, but also if not asked.
4. My favorite food is fresh-baked cookies.
5. I really dislike pickles, fennel (anise), and dill.
6. Going to a fancy restaurant and spending several hours eating fine cuisine with good company is the best.
7. I enjoy being the center of Josiah’s world, but am really anxious for him to ask for Daddy at 3am instead of me.
8. I know all about breech babies – turning, delivering, types, etc.
9. I hope that all this breech baby info will be totally unnecessary for me.
10. My little sister is getting married this summer.
11. I could use a massage right now.
12. I’m reading three books and four magazines whenever I get the chance.
13. I love to cook with my husband.
14. I do not like grocery shopping and meal planning.
15. I’m really excited to go to Ohio this weekend for my nephew’s first birthday.
16. Josiah is getting really good about the potty; that makes me feel strangely very proud.
17. I haven’t talked to my birth-father since before Christmas and might not until next Christmas.
18. I talked to my step-father last night and will again tomorrow.
19. High School Musical 2 is in the DVD player.
20. My feet get really cold now that we moved the computer next to the large front window.
21. Even the picture on the front of The Shield DVD case disturbs me.
22. Both of my kids are sleeping on the floor by their own choice (and do every night).
23. I need three pillows to get comfy at night, but would prefer four or five.
24. Last night I slept about for about four hours total with various interruptions: Josiah, Josiah, Josiah, baby boy, Josiah, baby boy…
25. I think I’ve decided on baby boy’s name, but I don’t know if Brian agrees.