Archive for June, 2006


I just woke up and can’t seem to stop sobbing. I feel so hurt, angry, shocked and for no reason (I hope) at all. I had a terrible dream about a broken/betrayed relationship and feel exactly that: broken and betrayed. It is shocking how real it was and how in my dream I went through the emotions and actions that I probably would in real life. I hope to never experience this again (in dream or real life) and am wondering if it has anything to do with a prayer I prayed as I fell asleep for God to be my only source of significance…


Separation Anxiety

So, I thought toddlers were supposed to have separation anxiety or at least notice when their mothers leave them for any length of time.

Brian and I went to a wedding this weekend and left Eila for the first time overnight. She stayed with my sister at my mom’s, so Grandma and Aunt Amber were fighting over taking care of her. I’m sure there was no lack of love and attention, but still, I thought she’d be a little excited to see us again, especially her mom. Alas, I was mistaken, because Eila was actually a little upset that we were back and trying to end the fun at the park. I’m still trying not to let it hurt my feelings. Once we got back home, she was more affectionate and even cuddled with me for a few minutes.
I was a little afraid that I would be the one with separation anxiety since this was her first extended time away from me since I became a mother. Honestly, I did pretty well. It was a little stressful when Amber called and asked how to get into our house (we forgot to leave her a key, oops!), but Eila did fine at Grandma’s, and the wedding reception was a great distraction for me. I only cried a bit and that was mostly because of the movie we were watching.