Shannon Yee

The question that I am asked most often is: How are you settling in? or it’s cousin: Are you feeling settled in yet?

Having moved cross-culturally and internationally twice in the last year, I am very much desiring to settle in. But, what does that really mean to me here and now?

I would’ve said that to be settle in was to be feeling peaceful, at home, relaxed, at ease, maybe even that life is easy. I’ve always lived close to family and in a familiar cultural context with good support and now I am living in a completely foreign cultural environment far from extended family, but still with lots of wonderful support. And I think I would say that I’m feeling settled, but it doesn’t mean what I used to think that it meant.

Living in a major city in a region of the world often considered third-world is not easy. Even if some aspects of life are much simpler, others are much more complicated. The difficulties and differences of life here mean that I am learning a new “normal.” This new home has new ways to relax and be comfortable and new ways to interact and relate as well. What once was easy can now be hard and tricky, but I think that the settling in is really about being flexible and adapting. I am definitely finding a new rhythm for life that works for me and my family.

We voted on a family motto before we started moving around the world and “Home is where we are” was the winner. I am home where I am. Yet, I know that I am not really home and won’t be as long as I’m here on earth. My true home is with the one who loved me so much to give all for me. Only then will I be truly at ease, at home, settled in.

While at a training for missionaries preparing to go on the field, I’ve had some time away from the regular demands of life and have been able to really process life. We are starting a big transition. We just sold our house. We’ve sold a lot of our possessions and plan to sell a whole lot more next month. We are getting ready to move over 6000 miles away from the family and friends that we love. We are going to be completely out of our comfort zones in nearly every imaginable way.

I am super sad about this move. I am really grieving the losses for myself and my kids. I am at this training for a few weeks, but then I will go back and really begin the hard work of saying goodbye to life as I’ve known and enjoyed it. Sometimes, I can barely breathe under the weight of it all. I am now only dealing with the tip of the iceberg; there is so much hidden beneath the surface.

An Iceberg (credits: Niyazz)

And yet, I am totally at peace. I’ve been doing the hard work to prepare mentally and physically and now I’m starting to really prepare emotionally as well. It isn’t all sunshine and roses, but it is all beautiful. Maybe even more beautiful in the deep sadness that is surrounding me as I reach out for help. God is my ever-present help (Ps 46) and so I need not be afraid.

Often for me the future is frocked in fear, but not this time. Don’t misunderstand, I do have some fears, but I am working to “go toward that!” I am learning to ask God to help me release whatever it is I’m afraid of losing or messing up or whatever. As I am letting God turn my heart toward Him instead of holding tighter to the things I want to control and figure out, I’m finding freedom and hope and great peace. It’s almost like there is some truth to Philippians 4:6-7. 😉

Even in the sadness, I can see God’s with me – his love quieting me, helping me to take the next step forward.

Our missions journey to date has been full of lots of waiting and unknowns. That is sure to continue.

We started to have a clearer picture of what the future might hold in November 2015 when we became members of Wycliffe Bible Translators. December marked the official invitation for us to go to Cameroon. And so, we ended the year with a lot more answers than we started with.

In January 2016, we attended the orientation course, Equip, in Orlando. We learned a lot. Among the lessons we learned that we can plan, but God has the ultimate plan, which may not match ours exactly. Then in February, our Partnership Development (PD) began. We sent out our very first newsletter and began to tell people about what we planned to do (because we finally knew some of those answers!)

Early in March, it became clear that we would have to go to France for language study and so we began researching and learning about that.

As we began to try to learn more in preparation for our move, we were connected with a family in Cameroon and got our buddies in April. (We really do wish this had happened much earlier, maybe if a full year earlier!)

We sent out another newsletter in May and reached the halfway point in our monthly financial partnership promises. This cleared the way for us to attend a required training in NC in the fall.

In June, we decided to attend language school in a small village in the French Alps. From the CCEF, we learned that our classes will start on January 3, 2017.

Now it is July and we are the missionaries of the month at our home church. That means that we are talking in front of the church one Sunday, doing a presentation with some families from our church and that we are being prayed for specifically each Wednesday at prayer.

August and September will be more PD work for us and hopefully our Wycliffe ministry will have a full partnership team. We will send out information to our prayer partners about a specific day to pray for each other each month. We’ve already been praying for each of our partners and this will help us to be more orderly about it. This is also when we will have a garage sale and possibly put our house on the market.

The Intercultural Communication Course (ICC) is another training for Brian and I. So, we will be going to JAARS in NC for the month of October (and one week of November) to study and learn as much as possible to help us in our transition. The plan for the kids is to stay in school and live with their grandparents while we are gone. Brian will likely leave his current job in October as we will be working full-time as missionaries (in training).

We will all need to go to Chicago for a visa interview in November. If all goes according to our plan, we will have our visas in time to leave for France at the end of December 2016. I am also going to try to make a last trip to LA to visit my sister and her new baby girl that should be born at the end of November!

So, January-June 2017, we will be studying French in France and then if everything works according to my plan, we will be fluent and ready to return to the US for a quick visit with family and friends in July 2017. Then we will move to Cameroon by August 2017 so that the kids can start the new school year in our new home.

I am a girl with many questions. I am also a girl who likes to have all the answers. Unfortunately, I am in a really uncomfortable place for me… a place with many unknowns and therefore lots of potential for growth or failure. Failure is my biggest fear. My husband and I have known for a while that God was calling us to go, to serve full-time in ministry. We have been following God’s lead, one step at a time. Last September, when I began the Revelation study with Bible Study Fellowship International (BSF), I was praying for a revelation of my own, where God would answer all my questions about the future. Well, God has made many things clear in this study of Revelation. For me, the biggest revelation has been Jesus! This study has been a Revelation of Jesus first and foremost.

If I have all the answers, I will rely on myself, but God has opened a huge door and called me, my husband and our three kids to go to Yaound̩, Cameroon Рfrancophone Africa. That was one question answered, but it led to so many more questions with so much potential to fail. Every moment, I have to make a choice: will I freak out because the circumstances around me are far beyond my abilities or will I look at Jesus and trust Him.

Revelation has made me focus on Jesus. Each week at BSF, I’ve learned lessons about God’s sovereignty and power to control everything. Jesus is worthy of praise and complete trust too, even in the midst of seeming chaos. Jesus is victorious, king, lamb, lion, sacrifice, worthy, faithful, true, mighty, perfect, bright morning star, holy, above all, reigning, powerful, just, merciful, living, gracious, beckoning… and so much more. As a children’s leader, each week we ask the kids questions after the story. The kids know that the answer is Jesus. We ask: Who is perfect? Jesus. Who judges rightly? Jesus. Who reigns in heaven? Jesus. Who is coming again? Jesus. This is what I needed to be able to understand the book of Revelation. It isn’t about all the symbols and judgement, though that is in there; it is about Jesus.

The very first week from lecture, I wrote down: “Follow God’s dreams, not mine. Don’t focus on what ‘seems’ to be, but on Jesus.” What seems to be is not always what is… It seems like I am in this awful place where I feel so lost and out of control. I am full of fear. I am overwhelmed and failing as a mother, wife, friend, missionary, children’s leader. I see how I am not measuring up and it seems so hopeless.

I am working hard at developing a partnership team and obeying God’s call, and I am tired, but in my weakest moments and when I keep messing it all up, God keeps picking me up and calling me back to Him. God wants me not to focus on me, but on Jesus. I dream of being perfect and having everything just so. God’s dreams will get me there one day, but His dreams are taking me a different way than I’m inclined to go.

So, the biggest lesson I’ve learned was stating succinctly in the intro to this study, and then repeated each week. “Keep your eyes on the Lamb!” When I have my Jesus in sight, my doubts and questions lead me to worship, not worry. With Jesus in His rightful, central place (Rev. 5:6), I say “Yes, Lord” no matter the cost and am able to take the next step forward in faith, not fear. I can see that the wild place (Rev. 12:6) may really be the safest place because that is where Jesus is.

It seems so hard at times. But then, I look at Jesus and I see all that He has done, eternally, for me and I see Him at work, here and now in the little details. My kids are sharing their deep thoughts openly and asking for prayer. My husband is talking to strangers and friends alike, confidently – if you know him, you understand that this is a huge God-act.

Our financially partnership team for our Wycliffe ministry is at over 60% and that is God’s work. I am humbled to be part of what He is doing. God has brought me from not knowing where or what He was asking me to do last September – to clearly calling me and my family to Cameroon in December, to providing what I need, at exactly the right moment for His glory now. I am often full of tears and fears, but God is so gracious and I’m learning to trust Him each moment and to focus on Jesus, following His dreams not mine.

I don’t like being in this uncomfortable place, not knowing all the answers with great risks, but I know Jesus and with Him, I can take the next baby step. I can be bold and look at Jesus. As I confess my self-focus and repent, my focus changes to Jesus. Jesus is the answer for life and for all my questions too!

As part of step 1 and learning lots of stuff, we began asking a lot of questions from the director at our new assignment locale. She said “It sounds like you are ready for a buddy.” And so we have been connected with some folks who are already in Cameroon and have some kids, so can relate to us in several ways and help us as we prepare to move. Our new friends have a series of videos that they’ve made with some of their friends: Bama Meets Britain.

As we get ready to go to Cameroon, we are trying to learn as much as we can about what will be are new home. One of the ways that we’ve done that is by watching this video:

Drumroll, please….

Where to Next? Cameroon

We have accepted an invitation to go to Yaoundé, Cameroon (part of Francophone West Africa)!

Brian will continue to program computers as he does now, but with a focus on helping to meet the needs and support the work of Bible translation in Cameroon. I will do something completely different than I’ve been doing by helping with training of national, local translators in linguistics basics. I will travel to villages a couple of times a year for these training workshops. I am really excited about working to support Bible translation in Africa. I will, of course, continue in my many other roles of wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, Bible study leader/teacher, etc. However, these will all look very different as my location changes from typical American suburb to African capital city.

There are still a lot of unknowns, which can sometimes cause me to fall into a spiral of fear and panic. There are some knowns too, which also can sometimes cause me to fall into a spiral of fear and panic. Most of the time though, I’m able to remember what I know to be true and not freak out completely. The truth is that God is in control. He has called me and my family to this adventure in Cameroon and He will see us through. He has never failed – ever. I’m not going to break God and suddenly change His record. That doesn’t mean that things will necessarily go in a predictable and happy way (not even close!), but it does mean that my head and my heart can be calm, peaceful, joyful even, in the face of moving over 6,000 miles away and leaving all that I know and am comfortable with behind.

The only guarantee we have is that it won’t be exactly the same as where we are now. Things are going to be different. But, that is true for all of us as we go forward into each day. The world around us is constantly changing. I hope you will want to be part of this adventure with us. If you do, please visit our personal missionary page at wycliffe.org/partner/yee.