Shannon Yee

Things that I am resolving (which means according to Merriam-Webster, to deal with successfully, to reach a firm decision about) to do in the upcoming year are: 1) Serve others by God’s grace, not my own efforts to earn their approval or praise, but as a response of love – giving a gift to God (as I would to a friend or someone that might a special something). 2) Obey God and move forward in what He has already given me to do, even if it’s scary or difficult or seemingly unimportant or non-essential.

In the past my resolutions have been the same as everyone else on the planet, to eat healthier, to exercise more, read more of the Bible, etc. I have done very well with these goals for the most part. One example is running a marathon in 2003, but this year I feel like I do those things anyway or at least I try to do those things regularly every day. So, for this year, I want to be nicer. That’s what I told Brian my resolution was going to be: Be Nicer! I think that is something that I really want to do and can successfully do with God’s help. Still, “Be Nicer” isn’t a very clear or specific goal and in order for me to accomplish anything in this regards it needs to be very specific and measurable as well as achievable.

You may be thinking about what being nicer would look like to you… For me, it includes many things. For starters, not yelling or slamming doors or even pouting or thinking about how unfair and terrible it all is when my kids and husband are not doing exactly what I want is much nicer than my current modus operandi. Also, I’d like to help those who need it, like watching a friend’s kids so she do whatever she wants, chatting with a lonely person, providing a meal or clean home to a friend or stranger, or most helpful diligently praying for others. Most challenging for me is probably so easy for everyone else, but being nicer to the strangers I encounter every day – cashiers, wait staff, other drivers and shoppers. I think it’s very reasonable for me to smile and share a friendly greeting, even when provoked or annoyed. There are, of course, many other nice things that I could do, but I think this will be a good start for me…

Going back to my resolutions as numbered above, these both fall into the broad category of being nice. Number One is an attempt to specifically, yet generally, define being nicer to others. Number Two is the reasoning behind my resolutions and sort of a catch all for anything that I might have left out or forgotten (or am not ready to admit/deal with just yet).

Here’s to a Happy New Year!

When a person understand two language but speaks only one of them they are considered to be a passive bilingual.

I am very sad to say it, but I am contemplating giving up on Eila as she has entered that passively bilingual stage that can last a lifetime (literally) and it is harder and harder to continue speaking to her in a minority language that is not my first language especially when she responds in another language. I spend a lot of time mixing the languages already and it irritates and confuses me, so I can only imagine what her brain is doing to sort it all out.

Right now, Eila is learning gobs and gobs of new words and phrases each day. This is very excited and extremely helpful in understanding what she wants and needs. Yet, I’m finding myself a little more disappointed at the end of each day as I realize that her vocabulary in English is already almost as good as mine in French. It’s also discouraging because she almost always responds in English. When she learns a new word in French, she’ll use it until she learns that word in English and then she drops the French word for the English. For example, last week when it snowed, we talked all about “la neige” and Eila blabbed on and on about water and cold and snow in French and then she learned that “la neige” is snow in English and I haven’t heard a thing in French, but she is talking about snow in English at least once a day.

Intellectually, I realized that this was the way it would most likely be. This is the standard way that kids in a bilingual home with a minority language spoken at home function. This is why so many parents give up (especially when they also know the majority language well and don’t see a great need or use for the minority language in everyday life). It is hard to speak to your kids in one language when they respond in a different language. It sort of messes with the brain and strange combinations of both languages come out.

Emotionally, though, I’m feeling discouraged and even a little like I fighting a losing battle. I see the benefits and have already put in a lot of work, but wonder if it isn’t a waste of energy and brainpower. There are so many things that I want to teach my kids and among the most important are things like: loving God and others and being respectful and kind. Speaking another language is a nice thing, but not essential for the end result of a person who loves God with all heart, soul, body, and mind.

For now, I continue to speak in French and hope that it will do more good than harm for Eila’s development. She’s learning lots of sign language too and using that frequently, so we’ll see what God has in store for us.

To read more about passive bilingualism, see:

http://www.multilingual-matters.net/beb/005/beb0050162.htm
http://www.bklein.de/buc_categorize.html
http://www.ascac.org/papers/bilingualism.html
http://www.terralingua.org/DiscPapers/DiscPaper4.html

Earlier this week, I went to the annual Northridge show (http://www.northridgechurch.com/Events/GloryOfChristmas.asp) and was pleasantly surprised. This put me in the mood for Christmas! I love holidays, in general, but Christmas is one that can get a little hectic with lots of parties and things to do. I am one of those people who can get all caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season without pausing to remember what it is that we are really celebrating, until it’s almost over. This year is a little different, because I’m starting off with a great reminder of the birth of Christ as well as His death and resurrection that are intimately connected to that birth. In addition to this reminder, the performance had several rather humorous numbers with Christmas carols and dancing and also a wonderful and moving rendition of Happy Birthday, Jesus sung by my very favorite six-year-old! Hannah did such a great job singing, it brought tears to my eyes. The women in front of me (who were not church goers at all) were equally impressed and moved by Hannah’s song. It was neat to hear them talking about it from a very different perspective and yet appreciating it just as much!

I don’t like changes. I am coming to realize that when things change it can be hard, and there are lots of changes happening all around me all the time. Some changes are good and yet they can still be very difficult, like, for instance, a marriage or new baby. Some changes are good for some and not others, like a friend moving away. Some changes seem bad all around, like an illness or loss.

I am dealing with all of these types of changes. Josiah is a great baby, but adjusting to have two kids is still work and I’m not always sure what to do or how to manage. I, believe it or not, have lost my cool a few times and don’t like to not be in control and perfect. One of my closest friend is almost definitely moving to Boulder in a very short time. I know that our relationship won’t be the same. We’ll keep in touch, but it is never the same as when you meet together in person regularly. That’s really sad to me. I’m still trying to adjust to my sister moving across the country… Change is hard, but usually exactly what we need. Who would want to live a life that’s the same all the time? It’s great to make new friends and move on in what God has next for us. Obedience is better than security or comfort.

One thing that I love about my husband (there are many, many things I love and this is just one of those things…) is that he likes me more than our kids. Every so often, we will get a sitter (Grandma) and go on a date. We did that this weekend and it was really refreshing. We went to a movie, which was so bad that we had to leave the theatre. We were both embarrassed that we were exposed to such depravity and a little ticked off that we spent almost $20 to waste an hour of our lives and assault our eyes and ears. Anyway, after splitting from the movie early, we went to dinner at J. Alexander’s and talked. I have come to realize that while I really appreciate acts of service as a sign of love, my main need is for quality time.

It makes me sad when I hear that other couples don’t take time to continue dating after they are married or have kids. In my opinion, it’s so important and keeps me young. I was talking to a friend and she said that her husband and her haven’t been on a date since their 3 year old was born. I was shocked; she then said that her husband loves their daughter and would rather spend time with their little girl than with her. That made me so sad. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like she was fine with this and didn’t see it as unusual or even something that should or could be different. I think that she also likes her daughter more than her spouse and maybe it’s partly because they’re both playing 2nd fiddle to the sweet child in their lives. At any rate, I believe that love and fun don’t end with marriage, if you keep dating!

I know that moms and Christians aren’t supposed to like Halloween for various reasons, but I really do like this holiday. I don’t like everything about it – I hate scary movies and anything related to spiders freaks me out. However, I love the idea of getting dressed up and of running around in costumes to get candy. I love how on this one night all of our neighbors have their lights on and doors open to welcome and greet anyone who walks by. I thoroughly enjoy seeing the kids and parents out together and hearing the calls & reminders of what to say and do. Attending parties for Halloween is fun too. Bobbing for apples, donut hangs, mystery substances to stick your hands into searching for a prize, and costume contests are a hoot and good, if not clean, fun. This holiday has a history of darkness and bad stuff, but it is really easy not to even see or notice that stuff, especially if you try to avoid it, and instead appreciate Halloween as a celebration of fall and all the great stuff that comes with my favorite season – pumpkins, the changing colors and falling of the leaves, cider and donuts, apples, cute costumes, and lots of sweet treats! What’s not to like?!

It’s 10pm and after a long, rainy day, I’m beat. Yet, my daughter is screaming and fighting sleep like I’ve never seen her do. My husband just puked out his guts. My newborn is wide awake and a little gassy (so not too happy either). It’s going to be a short night (or a long one, if you know what I mean).

I’m definitely afraid of being alone and of failing or being seen as a failure at anything. I am also afraid of heights and many-legged creepy-crawly things.

I used to be a person with tons of “to do” lists and couldn’t function without them. I’m still sort of that way, but not quite as obsessive as I once was.

My “To Do” List is currently full of things that I want to do and feel that I should do, but for some reason am unable to finish and check them off the list. One of the reasons for this is priorities (see my previous post) – I would rather invest my time in something else at that moment. Another reason is that some of the items require other people to do something – like return a phone call, etc. Also, I am tired, so I’m totally using that as an excuse, but that probably would go under the category of priorities – I’d rather be sleeping!

In light of that admission, I’m off to nap.

Lately, I’ve been hearing terrible stories from different sources about the losses and hard times that various people are enduring. A lot of the tragic losses are related to pregnancy and/or young babies. It is heart-wrenching to hear and think about such horrific pain.

At church, we’ve been studying the life of Moses, and I was struck by the horror of the plaques in Egypt, especially the death of the firstborn. It has always seemed awful, but the thought of losing a child at any age now has a deeper significance to me. I cannot imagine the pain of God the Father in sending his son, Jesus, to be a sacrifice for all of us messed up folks. What amazing love He has for me!

So, my perspective is shifting from complaining about myself and wanting to be done with this pregnancy to thanking God for the growing baby inside of me who is almost always moving. (Not that I wasn’t grateful before, but just not as grateful and amazed as I am now.) I’m starting my days with praise and fighting hard against the regular urges to think things need to be my way.