Shannon Yee

So, I’ve been wondering about how much worse things could get in this crazy world before the end is here…

Every time I turn around, I hear about someone else who is dealing with some horrible situation. The problems range from spousal abuse to sexual infidelity to freak accidents to drugs and addictions to hopelessness and depression. It is sad and scary to hear about friends who are dealing with such serious issues – that really hurt.

I was thinking about what I could and should do to help. First, I’m praying for them and for real and lasting change in their situations. Also, I’m trying to be a friend, whether that means listening or watching kids or providing meals or money or a safe place – whatever physical needs I can meet, I will. And, then I realized that I could provide some resources for help. I enjoy researching and so it makes sense that I would find the help that others have already provided and point those who need it in that direction. In my opinion, the best source of info is always the Bible and talking with God!

Here are some of the sites that might be interesting to anyone or helpful if you know someone going through a really hard time right now:
Bible
Are you an Abuser? (Quiz)
Are you being abused? (Quiz)
Suite 101
You are a Target, not a Victim
Living with Someone in Depression
Addiction Help

Eila’s preschool curriculum has a large portion devoted to teaching her about stewardship. When I started looking at it, I really liked it but didn’t think it was so important to start with that principle when being kind and respectful are so lacking in the average preschooler. However, the more I think about the idea of stewardship and with what I’ve been learning as I teach her and study on my own, I realize that it is very important. In fact, it was one of the first commandments really. God told Adam and Eve to name the animals and care for them and the garden (and to be fruitful and subdue the earth) – that is what stewardship is all about – taking care of what God has given us.

Until recently, being a good steward for me meant being smart/thoughtful about how I spend money. It might include how I use the gifts God has given me, like organization skills to help out with needs at church along those lines, but it didn’t involve being environmentally conscious at all. Now, that seems like a tragic misunderstanding of this term as well as a horrid undervaluing of all that God has created and entrusted to us. I often thought that those who were interested in taking care of planet earth didn’t have their priorities right (and sometimes those folks do not, but it’s not for me to judge…) because they must care more about this world than the people in it or God. Lately, though, I am beginning to see that caring for God’s creation in nature is not separate from caring for God’s creation in people or loving Him, but really an extension of that and obedience and respect to Him.

I am glad that the preschool curriculum has stewardship has the first character trait being taught and learned. It is exciting to understand that stewardship conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially : the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care m-w.com I still have a long way to go toward being a good steward (with money or anything else) and I’m taking little steps each week, sometimes being pushed into it and sometimes dragging others along.

Last weekend in Grand Rapids was a fabulous convention with 2000+ moms. We sat and listened to several speakers and went to workshops and talked to other moms. The whole point of the conference was to encourage and equip moms in they’re various roles within the home. For more info, visit their website.

I came away refreshed after a break from being home and all of those responsibilities, but also renewed in my commitments as wife and mother. I recognize that I am only hurting myself and those I love most when I try to help in every possible way outside the home. It was really encouraging and a little frustrating at the same time to attend workshops and know that I am already implementing most of the ideas and strategies suggested for raising great kids; although, I was really hoping to get the detailed prescription for how to get perfect kids.

One of the most profound and simple themes for me was to love my very ordinary kids and our very ordinary life – and delight in it all. In the evening session, the speakers reminded us moms that we are all unique and that we should not and cannot compare our insides with someone else’s outsides. It is so easy to see others as having it all together, but we don’t know what’s going on in their lives and most likely they are pretty similar to us anyway. Ordinary isn’t bad, it’s just what most of us are – otherwise it wouldn’t be ordinary… So, I’m embracing my ordinary life and delighting in all of the routine, regular stuff that we do and struggle with as well as all the normal stuff that we enjoy and get excited about.

Some people think it’s cute that little kids are just like their parents. I used to think like that until my little girl started talking just like I do. It is not cute at all. In fact, it is very sad and disheartening to hear what I sound like to others. It is not new news to me that I am not the person with the most kind and gentle speech or the most patient and polite requests, but I did not understand at all to what degree I assault the ears of those who must listen to me complain and boss others around! I hear the tone of my very sweet 2-1/2 year-old daughter and am disgusted as well as convicted about how I talk to her and everyone else around me. The words themselves could use some refining, but the real issue is the delivery.

I feel like such a hypocrite when I make Eila use kind words to talk to Josiah and to request something, since she is simply doing what I do… Yet, I know that she has to be taught how to interact with others and how to love and be kind. The best way for her to learn is to watch, so I have to relearn and pray for God to unteach her everything that I have inadvertently modeled for her in my attitude and actions, but especially in my speech.

I have a lot of responsibilities. We all do. Almost all of my responsibilities are things that I “signed up” or “volunteered” for, but some are not, which doesn’t make them any less necessary. The ones I “chose” include: being a wife, mom, MOPS coordinator, preschool teacher, friend. The ones I didn’t exactly pick include: being a child, housekeeper, cook, errand runner/shopper, and almost all the ones listed under things I chose… Insane time commitments, messiness, humility, and sacrifice are parts of every responsibility that I have – that make it challenging and often make me want to quit or give up.

Fortunately, there are also great rewards that come with every responsibility. Cleanliness, love, joy, seeing God’s glory and being a part of His work, as well as being able to survive are just a few of the benefits of fulfilling my responsibilities. Best of all is the growth and change in me as I live up to the responsibilities that I have and see God’s hand shaping me as a result of the sacrifices and humility and messiness in it all. It is amazing that just doing what I’m supposed to do can have such positive results personally, but also for everyone around me as well!

I am very proud and also full of pride. I think there is a big difference between these two things with proud being a good thing and pride being a very bad thing.

Some people see the root issue or sin as unbelief or lack of faith and some people see it as fear (which I believe is a lack of faith) and others see the deep sin at the basis of our lives as idolatry and others see that root as pride. I think there are great arguments for all of these and in my life I can see that any of these could be true. For me, idolatry and pride are the same as my main idol is myself and so that seems to win out, but maybe pride is really an unbelief in God’s sovereignty and goodness… Anyway, pride is an egregious sin that God detests.

On the other hand, I am also proud. I’m so proud of my husband and the way he takes care of our family and uses the gifts that God has given him. I am also very proud of my kids, especially when they do or say things that are kind, sensitive and wise. Right now, Eila and Josiah are playing together and laughing hysterically, and I feel such joy and love and so proud of them. Maybe this proud feeling I have is really a godly jealousy for them to do right. I’m most proud of those around me when they are glorifying God and submitting their lives to Him, which is what I want for myself as well. Also, I’m proud of my loved ones as I see them being successful and persevering. I think it is a boasting in the Lord rather than in them or in myself for whatever.

Apparently, it’s National Immunization Awareness Month. I have long found the topic of immunizations very interesting and have done lots of research on it. One of the main reasons for my interest is because of Eila’s mild negative reaction to a series of vaccines when she was 15 months old. We were unable to determine which vaccine was responsible and that left me very uneasy about administering any shots at all.

I read and worried a lot about the supposed link between vaccines and autism. For a blog about that info, see AutismVox. I also worried about the possibility of problems with too many diseases being introduced into such a small system. In the end, I decided that for our family the diseases and risks of not vaccinating are much greater than the risks for getting these shots. For my own peace of mind, I do just one shot at a time – in case of a similar situation to Eila’s, I just don’t want to repeat that unnecessarily.

When Josiah was diagnosed with asthma at 3 months of age, I was worried about immunizations having played a role. I do not believe that they had any negative impact at all, but still at the time, I wanted something specific to blame. Again, fears as a mom outweighing the facts of the situation.

In all of my research and talks with other moms, I’ve come across every opinion and reason to vaccinate and not to vaccinate. My chiropractor is ardently against it; one of my best friends & nurse is totally for it. I have met people with family members affected by the diseases that vaccines prevent and I’ve met a person who is in the rare severe negative reactions to an immunization. There is no clear cut answer, except to trust God with our children’s health and to seek His wisdom for this decision. Ultimately, God is the Great Physician. He’s the only One who can keep my kids healthy and protect them from infections of any kind, but I think he’s given the wisdom to some scientists to make these vaccines as a response to the great suffering in the world because of sin, so I’m going to use it.

As an adult, there is a recommended schedule as well. Here’s a quiz to see if you are up to date. Sometimes it seems easier or more important to take care of our kids health and we moms neglect our own check-ups. I am guilty of this and maybe one day I’ll make it to see my doctor…

Eila was coloring nicely with a pen on some paper in the living room while I cleaned up lunch. She was imitating me writing notes and making lists. Josiah was cruising around trying to figure out what Eila was doing and how he could join in. Then, I heard Josiah’s cries on pain and asked Eila “What happened to Joe?” as I came around the corner. She said “I colored him.” Indeed, she did. Josiah had ten stabs and lines all over his head and hands, up his arm and on his face. I quickly picked him up and examined the damage, which he was now fine with and began to sob. I tried wiping him off as gently as possible, since already each mark seemed to have been a bit painfully administered. Eila was in shock at my tears over her artwork on Josiah. As I sent her to time out for coloring on something besides paper and for hurting her brother, she screamed. When I calmed and went to talk to her, she talked to me about crying and talking and hurting other people. I think she was really sorry. I was too.

I want to protect and shelter my kids from any pain. I want them to really love each other and look out for each other, not inflict and torment each other. I want to set a good example for them in how to respond to their own pain and others. I want to be a good mom with good kids – too bad I live in a bad world full of bad people, of which I am one of the worst. Fortunately, I serve a great God who enables me to be a great mom with great kids. How quickly I forget and doubt!

I don’t know why this is so difficult, but planning a vacation is something that stresses me out to the max. I am starting to believe that it might have to do with a deeper issue (don’t stressors always have a trigger?), like wanting to please those I love the most and who will be in close quarters with me during this vacation. But, then again, I think it could just be my OCD/perfectionist craziness. I want my vacations to be perfect – to see all there is to see, to eat well all the time, to sleep well and most of all to have a fabulous time doing whatever I want to do. In order for the vacation to be perfect there is a lot of planning involved. I need to research every possible thing to see or do and find the best possible place to stay and dining options while considering the budget and what will work for our family. I think this is also complicated by the fact that my beloved mate doesn’t have much to say usually, but for vacations offers his opinion and so I want to take that into consideration and make his trip perfect too. I have usually have lots of opinions, so this is no exception. But, when visiting a new place, I fear making a wrong choice and screwing it up for everyone. Failure: my biggest fear! Mixing fear of failing and fear of letting others down – I’m afraid that I might be believing a lie – this is recipe for disaster. The truth is that my self-worth is not based on my performance and other’s opinions of me, but on Christ and His work on the cross. Thank God that He is God and I am NOT!

I often wonder how many times I’ve missed the boat with regards to great gifts or exciting adventures God had ready for me, but I ignored or chose to go the other way…

My sister and I were talking about this not too long ago as she was sharing that she had just finished a study on the life of Aaron (old testament priest) and that he didn’t listen and obey God at first, but then later tried to do what God had said before – but things were different then.

I know a family who recently went through the process of adopting a precious baby, they were seeking God and yet not everyone was at the same point at the same time. At one point the father was ready and at another point they were both ready, but there were problems with the logistics (ie. God’s wasn’t ready or the child wasn’t ready?), and then finally everything fell perfectly into place – because the whole family was on the same page as God and ready to listen and obey when and what He said, possibly.

I feel like the same thing has been happening with Brian and I. When we were engaged we talked about how we thought that God was calling us to go at some later point, possibly 5-10 years down the road, to be missionaries full-time. France has long been in our minds as a great place to go and minister, but by no means the only choice for us. Not too long ago, I was fully ready to go and after talking with our pastor and praying, we started to contact some missions agencies and missionaries in France. Well, there are lots of open doors and opportunities, but Brian seemed really hesitant and even disagreeable when we would talk and pray about it. So, we were obviously not on the same page. I don’t know what page exactly God was/is on, but sometimes I wonder if Brian and I are even in the same book. Was I jumping the gun for whatever reason? Was Brian dragging his feet? It seemed very clear to me though that God was not asking us to go when we were not both ready. Did we miss the boat? I don’t know. I certainly hope not.

On the other side, I’ve been the recipient of amazing gifts when I least expected it and know others who have been too. In fact, this past week I heard two stories in my family of God’s faithfulness. My dad, Bill, was driving on the freeway and was hit by some drywall that fell from a truck. His car had some bad damage, but he walked away without a scratch. As a testimony of God’s protection, my mother found a nickel (when she finds pennies, she uses them as reminders and thanks God for the small ways he protects us each day) on her walk and knew God was working in big ways that day! Then, another sister of mine and her four kids applied to attend (at a very discounted rate) a local Christian school and they were accepted and the teachers and administrators were excited about working with their newest daughter, who is from Zambia and is still learning English and may be a little behind in some academic areas. It was a true answer to prayer – they got on the cruise ship!

God’s timing is always right. As the Gentile father in Mark 9:24 asking Jesus to heal his son cried out “I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief!”