Shannon Yee

There is a first time for everything. Today was my first time to be thrown up on by someone other than myself. I didn’t like it at all, but I didn’t join in, which is much better than I’d ever expected. There is some truth to that being a mom and not being bothered by some things as much. You just have to hold your breath and do what needs to be done.

Yesterday was Eila’s first time really seeing snow (at least that she can remember). She was hilarious. I’ve never seen anyone so excited about snow. I always enjoy watching the first snow, but driving in it isn’t the best. Well, we were taking a trip to the mall and the entire car ride was spent talking about the snow and how it’s cold and windy and pretty and white and basically just wonderful! It was refreshing to be reminded of the beauty around me in such a simple way. Eila was even more excited when we played in the snow for a few minutes after we got back home.

The first time that I knew my baby was smiling at me was one of the most precious things. There are lots of memorable first times for me: buying a house, running a marathon, going to a UM football game, and hearing Eila say “t’aime” (love you) are just a few of the more interesting ones. It’s remarkable how each day we do so many things that we did the day before and yet there is usually something new there as well. I am trying to take a minute at the end of the day to enjoy that first time for whatever it was that day, even if it is cleaning up puke off of everything around.

I have always prided myself on being someone who lives according to her convictions. A life based on values and priorities not just letting things happen. Somehow, I am not sure that this is still true of me. I want it to be true, but I am not sure that it is.

There are a few reasons for this doubt:

1) I’m very tired and busy chasing my dear toddler many days and therefore don’t do what I have planned.

2) I am not planning my days. There are many days when I look back and feel like I could’ve and should’ve been more deliberate and productive with the time given me.

3) I’m not entirely sure what I value or want my priorities to be at this point.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m living more in line with my values and priorities than ever.

There are several reasons for this confidence:

1) I’m very tired and busy chasing my dear toddler and don’t do all the things I have planned (ie. cleaning, cooking, exercising, etc.)

2) I am not planning my days completely. Instead, I am allowing the special moments of Eila’s days to be just that rather than a series of activities and events and things to accomplish.

3) I know that I do value time with people and training Eila in godly ways, and am spending my time in these pursuits, but little else.

Basically, I am a little confused about if my life is being lived to its fullest or if I should be making changes to ensure an authentic and purpose-filled life. I guess I need to spend a little more time in communion with God over this one because He is the One with the plan for my life, not me…

Today is the day I sit at the computer and my bathroom gets cleaned… For my birthday, I got the gift of someone cleaning my house. This is fabulous.

This morning I am up and ready to go and actually have a few minutes to spare with nothing pressing to do… sure there are dishes in the sink and laundry in the basket waiting to be put away and lots of clutter everywhere, but those can wait.

Eila, my fabulous 1 year-old daughter, decided to wake up at 7:15am this morning instead of her usually 8:30am, but at 8:30am went back down for a nap. This provided me with the perfect opportunity to shower and eat and even curl my hair in peace. I even took a few minutes to thank God for the wonderful rain outside!

It is a great day today. Last night, Brian (my main man) and I went on a much needed date – just the two of us. We were able to see a movie, walk and talk, have dinner and enjoy each other’s company without too much worry for Eila’s safety. So, I am feeling particularly refreshed after a fabulous date with the best man in the world and a really good and mostly uninterrupted sleep.

It is amazing to think about how my life has changed in the past year – I never imagined how much I would value a few minutes to myself and not mind a dirty house or how my heart would melt each time a tear falls from my little girl’s cheek. It is remarkable that this love I have for her, which is greater than I ever realized it would be, is only a fraction of the intensity of love that God has for me as His daughter… Wow!

Well, Eila is up and singing, so I will go.