Shannon Yee

My good friend, Andie, lent me a book (that I lent out to another friend) that really has changed the way I parent. I knew I had a problem and needed to get some practical help as well as deal with the root issues of my problem. Well, Julie Barnhill’s book came along at the right time and was exactly what I needed to hear and act on.

I love to read, and Julie Barnhill is a very funny gal whose books are quick, easy reads, but that was not the case for this book. This book had its funny parts and is a quick read, but she has stopping points throughout the book with questions to ponder and action points. I usually just read these types of questions and answer in my head since writing answers requires so much effort. However, I knew that I really needed to process these things and to have accountability to make changes, so I wrote down my answers to all of the questions. I was easily able to see where I struggled and what changes I needed to make.

The gist of it is that anger has its place and is a good response when things are not as they should be – injustice and evil – and as long as anger motivates us to act in love and bring about good changes then it is not a problem. For most people I know, myself included, that is not usually the case when I lose my temper. I am angry at my kids for not living up to my expectations or at myself for making poor choices and then am impatient and unkind toward those around me not out of love to make them better, but just because I’m immature and would rather throw a fit. In my angry outbursts with my kids, there are times that the anger is properly motivated, but my outburst is not loving or effective in bringing about the change that is desired. So, the way to change is through prayer and focusing on the truth and love of God, along with some very simple techniques like counting to ten or taking a deep breath before I speak, taking time outs myself when I feel my body heat rising and jaw clenching.

I had wanted to post my thoughts on my birthday about the previous year and hopes for the upcoming year… I had actually wanted to do that at the new year, but my good intentions didn’t amount to much.

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but since I am a woman of many words, who knows how much I will actually write.

I am very blessed in every way. I have a fabulous family (both immediate and extended, including my in-laws and step-family and all the others too!) My husband has a great job that he enjoys with relative security, given that we live in the worst-hit area economically. I have two healthy and bright kids. I am pregnant and love it. I cannot think of anything that I should be able to complain about.

So, for this year I really want to focus on being grateful and showing my thankfulness and contentment in all that I do. Practically speaking that means simple things like just expressing appreciation out loud or in writing more often. It also includes things like being more patient with my kids and showing satisfaction who they are now even when I don’t like what they are doing or it is messing up my plans. And I have lots of plans every day, but gracefully accepting the inevitable disruptions is a big part of being grateful, I think.

I guess even though I’m now in my thirties, I am still a work in progress and really not that much farther along in many ways than my two and four year-olds. I am thankful though that I get the chance to make some changes and grow each day.

Tagged again… Consider your self tagged if you are interested and have a firstborn.

1. WAS YOUR PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yes

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
Yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Happy, excited…

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
No, never

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
26

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
A pregnancy test, but I’d been charting and knew based on temps and timing.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
We told both of our parents, but then no one else until quite a bit later.

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
Yes

9. DUE DATE?
January 19, 2005

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
No

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Water

12.WHAT IRRITATED YOU?
Lots of stuff, but the same things that irritate me anyway.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD’S SEX?
Female

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
No. I just wanted a healthy baby.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
about 25

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Yes

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
No surprises

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
No

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Providence Alternative Birth Center

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
33

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
Brian

23. DID YOUR WATER BREAK NATURALLY?
Yes. Well, it didn’t really break as much as leak.

24. WAS IT VAGINAL OR C-SECTION?
Vaginal

25. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
No. I had a natural, wonderful birth experience.

26. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Midwife, ABC nurses, and Brian.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
6 lbs. 10 oz.

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
January 16, 2005 at 8:40am

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Eila Rose Yee

30. BIGGEST SURPRISE DURING CHILDBIRTH?
No real surprises, but I guess my being in transition and wanting to push on the way to the hospital was a bit surprising.

31. GREATEST MEMORY ABOUT CHILDBIRTH?
The great support of my husband/coach and the thrill of actually holding a healthy baby in my arms.

31. DID YOU BREASTFEED?
Yes.

32. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
She turned 4 about 2 weeks ago.

I was tagged (a few times and a while ago…), so here it is:

1. I feel badly about hogging the computer and writing this up instead of talking to my husband.
2. My husband is playing WOW and probably glad that I’m not talking to him.
3. I like to give advice, when asked for it especially, but also if not asked.
4. My favorite food is fresh-baked cookies.
5. I really dislike pickles, fennel (anise), and dill.
6. Going to a fancy restaurant and spending several hours eating fine cuisine with good company is the best.
7. I enjoy being the center of Josiah’s world, but am really anxious for him to ask for Daddy at 3am instead of me.
8. I know all about breech babies – turning, delivering, types, etc.
9. I hope that all this breech baby info will be totally unnecessary for me.
10. My little sister is getting married this summer.
11. I could use a massage right now.
12. I’m reading three books and four magazines whenever I get the chance.
13. I love to cook with my husband.
14. I do not like grocery shopping and meal planning.
15. I’m really excited to go to Ohio this weekend for my nephew’s first birthday.
16. Josiah is getting really good about the potty; that makes me feel strangely very proud.
17. I haven’t talked to my birth-father since before Christmas and might not until next Christmas.
18. I talked to my step-father last night and will again tomorrow.
19. High School Musical 2 is in the DVD player.
20. My feet get really cold now that we moved the computer next to the large front window.
21. Even the picture on the front of The Shield DVD case disturbs me.
22. Both of my kids are sleeping on the floor by their own choice (and do every night).
23. I need three pillows to get comfy at night, but would prefer four or five.
24. Last night I slept about for about four hours total with various interruptions: Josiah, Josiah, Josiah, baby boy, Josiah, baby boy…
25. I think I’ve decided on baby boy’s name, but I don’t know if Brian agrees.

For Christmas, Brian got me the book Clean House, Clean Planet and while we were vacationing in AZ, I read most of it and then started to make some products when we returned. I had already been using my own versions sporadically, but found that these recipes are much better than my own. I especially like her disinfectant spray, which is simply water, liquid soap and tea tree oil. I’ve been using the peppermint Dr. Bronner’s soap and love the smell. I also found that her Earth Scrub recipe works wonderfully. It is the replacement for Soft Scrub and was great at cleaning my bathroom and kitchen. The kids sort of helped and everything smelled really good (like peppermint again!).

For my birthday (which isn’t until next week…), I got myself a few months of someone coming to clean my house. She did a great job cleaning my house, but it smelled so strongly of bleach in the bathroom that I had to open all the windows in the house and turn on all the fans for a long while after she left. So, I think that I’ll give her my new homemade cleaners for the next time. Making the cleaners takes a few minutes at most and is really easy, so it shouldn’t take away from the pampering of having someone else clean my house at all!

I just can’t start again.

It seems like I just don’t have anything worthwhile to share and that I don’t have time to share what isn’t really worth posting in the first place…

So, all this to say, I’m going to read a book to my kids now and we just finished playing a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders followed by Memory. I was soundly beaten by my newly 4-year old daughter, who just got poked by her brother with a drum stick.

Merry Christmas! This is a great time to celebrate and remember that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was born into this world and lived as we do, with lots of stresses and pressures, yet He was perfect. Then Jesus died for us and rose again, so that we could live with God forever – the way it was meant to be. We have been transformed by this good news and pray that God’s great love will change your life as well.

One way our lives are changing is that we are eagerly expecting another baby boy this spring. With two fun little red-headed children, the real question is what color hair will this baby have (although many people are wondering what we’ll name him, including his parents)!

Brian continues to work at ePrize doing web development and as manager. In his free time, he is still part of the Bell Creek Church worship band and also joined a guild for World of Warcraft this year. In the evenings, after dinner he often wrestles with the kids or plays some Candyland before reading them stories. He has redesigned his website and entered the twitter world. Most recently, he successfully undertook a number of home improvement projects. Strangely, he struggles to find time to shave and get a haircut.

Shannon (that’s me) continues to head up the MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) ministry at our church and was able to attend the International Convention in Dallas this fall. This was her first time away from both kids for an overnight and everyone survived! In addition to the exciting daily chores of laundry, cooking and loving on her family (which also means keeping them out of too much trouble – harder than it sounds…), she is also slowly realizing (finally!) that she is not perfect.

Eila is our fun, whiny, bossy and loving big girl – almost four years old. She loves to learn and read stories; she asks to do school almost everyday with Mom as her teacher. She also loves an audience and will tell a story or sing and dance, in costume, for any willing bystander. Eila has taken a wide variety of classes this year, like ballet, swimming, gymnastics, and Tae Kwon Do; she enjoyed each one and has a hard time deciding what to take next. She is very excited about her new baby brother especially since it meant that she’ll have a new bedroom all to herself.

Josiah is two years old, but not too terrible. He loves to climb, run, jump, hit and throw. He is very ticklish and laughs uncontrollably at just the threat. While Eila loves all things princess, Joe is a fanatic of all things Thomas or train-related. He always talks loudly and possibly even more than Eila, who he is ever trying to imitate. Despite some tough times due to food sensitivities, he is a fun if fearless little boy. He is really happy about the new baby and will show others where he has a baby in his tummy (or neck sometimes) too.

As a family, we were able to spend a couple of weeks this summer up north with our extended families. We also ventured on a camping weekend with some friends. We are really looking forward to our final trip this year to Phoenix to ring in the new year.

For all the latest info and pictures throughout the year, check out our family websites.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love, The Yees

I have never been one to struggle with falling asleep. I think I need more sleep than the average person, but for the last few weeks, I have been up so late because I can’t seem to wind down and go to sleep before midnight. If my kids slept through the night, this would still afford me plenty of sleep. It seems that as soon as I am just asleep or almost there, one of my lovely little ones comes in and needs to cuddle or a drink or something else for which I am the only one who can help. So, I am getting to sleep around 2am and then being awakened at around 4:30am to welcome a young boy who sleeps best in Mama’s bed until around 6:30am when he doesn’t sleep anymore and insists – very, very loudly – that it’s 8 o’clock and time to wake up.

If I seem a little irritable or look a little rough around the edges, you now know one possible reason why. Of course, there are lots of other excuses I could dream up as well.

Today was one of those days that I wish I could start over and change just about everything. It was rainy and gloomy all day – still raining steadily.

I stayed in bed too long and didn’t enjoy a few moments with my husband before he left for work.

While I was in the shower, I was greeted by whines and screams as Josiah couldn’t make the blanket stay on the pillows.

When I got out, I realized that he had also peed on the couch, dumped out all the baskets in my bedroom and emptied the huge cedar chest at the end of my bed.

Eila ran around yelling at him to clean it up; she really didn’t want to wear shoes or a coat, until she saw the rain and then had to change completely. She ran through all the puddles as she went to the car and “ruined” her shoes (with great sobs.)

We were late for the meeting I was heading to. We never made it to the library or the grocery store.

Returning home, Josiah dumped water all over the rug in the living room. I yelled at him and put him in time out for getting more water after I told him to stop. He then tried to flush Eila’s sweater. I yelled again and sent him away and then lectured him.

Eila and I played Wii and then she whined and cried because I tried to help her navigate. I yelled at her that she can’t yell at me like that. She then threw a huge fit while I left to give her and me some space; it lasted for about 40 minutes when she was suddenly quiet – and asleep.

A few moments later Joe woke from his short nap and needed lots of cuddling and requesting candy.

Josiah asked me to help him put socks on his hands and then tried to climb into the oven – because that’s where Joshie was waiting for him.

While I tried to awaken Eila from an impromptu and late nap, he squished up all her orange slices and made orange juice. I yelled some more. I am very good at yelling, but now my throat hurts a little.

While I emptied the dishwasher and Josiah “helped” me and then went to play somewhere. He was actually painting with real house paint – one-half gallon dumped in the laundry room and on the already painted and previously ready-to-hang door for Eila’s new room. He got paint on the very few maternity clothes that fit me well and look okay… Fortunately, Brian came home at this point for about an hour before he left for a work dinner party. So, he got assigned to try to wake up Eila again.

Eila whined and whined. Then, Eila screamed and yelled and kicked and threw one of the biggest tantrums I’ve ever seen from her, which is really saying a lot, since she is a drama queen.

I moped and pouted about not going to a girls’ night out dinner with my friends and did puzzles with Eila until I couldn’t do any more.

I guess it was just a typical day, but I had a bad attitude all day and wish I had responded differently at so many points throughout the day…