Shannon Yee

Sally tagged me, so here goes.

1. I was voted “Most Talkative” in Jr. High, but cannot think of anything to say to new people that I meet.
2. While being a bit of a perfectionist, my house is never clean. I hate sweeping and vacuuming, so I wait for Brian to do it… I also hate washing dishes, so I only do them as needed (usually about once a week).
3. I used to think that I didn’t like chocolate, but it’s just that I don’t like cheap chocolate (and that’s all my mother had ever given me – no offense, Mom.) I loathe M&Ms and Hershey’s bars, but like brownies and hot chocolate, and especially like Belgian truffles.
4. Recently, I am only interested in movies or TV shows that are extremely clean (rated PG or G) and happy. I really enjoy watching programs geared to young teenagers. I have enough stress and disappointment in life that I don’t want to watch someone else go through that too. I also do not feel any need to defile myself any more than I already do…
5. I am a tandem nursing mother. On rare occasions, I can be found breastfeeding two children at the same time. Usually though, they have to wait their turn.
6. I love being pregnant. Pregnancy agrees with me. My hair is thick and shiny. My skin is clear. I never need a coat (as I am a human furnace during pregnancy. I have a great excuse to eat and sleep whenever. The only drawbacks are limits on carbonated and alcoholic beverages and raw fish.

Things that I am resolving (which means according to Merriam-Webster, to deal with successfully, to reach a firm decision about) to do in the upcoming year are: 1) Serve others by God’s grace, not my own efforts to earn their approval or praise, but as a response of love – giving a gift to God (as I would to a friend or someone that might a special something). 2) Obey God and move forward in what He has already given me to do, even if it’s scary or difficult or seemingly unimportant or non-essential.

In the past my resolutions have been the same as everyone else on the planet, to eat healthier, to exercise more, read more of the Bible, etc. I have done very well with these goals for the most part. One example is running a marathon in 2003, but this year I feel like I do those things anyway or at least I try to do those things regularly every day. So, for this year, I want to be nicer. That’s what I told Brian my resolution was going to be: Be Nicer! I think that is something that I really want to do and can successfully do with God’s help. Still, “Be Nicer” isn’t a very clear or specific goal and in order for me to accomplish anything in this regards it needs to be very specific and measurable as well as achievable.

You may be thinking about what being nicer would look like to you… For me, it includes many things. For starters, not yelling or slamming doors or even pouting or thinking about how unfair and terrible it all is when my kids and husband are not doing exactly what I want is much nicer than my current modus operandi. Also, I’d like to help those who need it, like watching a friend’s kids so she do whatever she wants, chatting with a lonely person, providing a meal or clean home to a friend or stranger, or most helpful diligently praying for others. Most challenging for me is probably so easy for everyone else, but being nicer to the strangers I encounter every day – cashiers, wait staff, other drivers and shoppers. I think it’s very reasonable for me to smile and share a friendly greeting, even when provoked or annoyed. There are, of course, many other nice things that I could do, but I think this will be a good start for me…

Going back to my resolutions as numbered above, these both fall into the broad category of being nice. Number One is an attempt to specifically, yet generally, define being nicer to others. Number Two is the reasoning behind my resolutions and sort of a catch all for anything that I might have left out or forgotten (or am not ready to admit/deal with just yet).

Here’s to a Happy New Year!

When a person understand two language but speaks only one of them they are considered to be a passive bilingual.

I am very sad to say it, but I am contemplating giving up on Eila as she has entered that passively bilingual stage that can last a lifetime (literally) and it is harder and harder to continue speaking to her in a minority language that is not my first language especially when she responds in another language. I spend a lot of time mixing the languages already and it irritates and confuses me, so I can only imagine what her brain is doing to sort it all out.

Right now, Eila is learning gobs and gobs of new words and phrases each day. This is very excited and extremely helpful in understanding what she wants and needs. Yet, I’m finding myself a little more disappointed at the end of each day as I realize that her vocabulary in English is already almost as good as mine in French. It’s also discouraging because she almost always responds in English. When she learns a new word in French, she’ll use it until she learns that word in English and then she drops the French word for the English. For example, last week when it snowed, we talked all about “la neige” and Eila blabbed on and on about water and cold and snow in French and then she learned that “la neige” is snow in English and I haven’t heard a thing in French, but she is talking about snow in English at least once a day.

Intellectually, I realized that this was the way it would most likely be. This is the standard way that kids in a bilingual home with a minority language spoken at home function. This is why so many parents give up (especially when they also know the majority language well and don’t see a great need or use for the minority language in everyday life). It is hard to speak to your kids in one language when they respond in a different language. It sort of messes with the brain and strange combinations of both languages come out.

Emotionally, though, I’m feeling discouraged and even a little like I fighting a losing battle. I see the benefits and have already put in a lot of work, but wonder if it isn’t a waste of energy and brainpower. There are so many things that I want to teach my kids and among the most important are things like: loving God and others and being respectful and kind. Speaking another language is a nice thing, but not essential for the end result of a person who loves God with all heart, soul, body, and mind.

For now, I continue to speak in French and hope that it will do more good than harm for Eila’s development. She’s learning lots of sign language too and using that frequently, so we’ll see what God has in store for us.

To read more about passive bilingualism, see:

http://www.multilingual-matters.net/beb/005/beb0050162.htm
http://www.bklein.de/buc_categorize.html
http://www.ascac.org/papers/bilingualism.html
http://www.terralingua.org/DiscPapers/DiscPaper4.html

There is a first time for everything. Today was my first time to be thrown up on by someone other than myself. I didn’t like it at all, but I didn’t join in, which is much better than I’d ever expected. There is some truth to that being a mom and not being bothered by some things as much. You just have to hold your breath and do what needs to be done.

Yesterday was Eila’s first time really seeing snow (at least that she can remember). She was hilarious. I’ve never seen anyone so excited about snow. I always enjoy watching the first snow, but driving in it isn’t the best. Well, we were taking a trip to the mall and the entire car ride was spent talking about the snow and how it’s cold and windy and pretty and white and basically just wonderful! It was refreshing to be reminded of the beauty around me in such a simple way. Eila was even more excited when we played in the snow for a few minutes after we got back home.

The first time that I knew my baby was smiling at me was one of the most precious things. There are lots of memorable first times for me: buying a house, running a marathon, going to a UM football game, and hearing Eila say “t’aime” (love you) are just a few of the more interesting ones. It’s remarkable how each day we do so many things that we did the day before and yet there is usually something new there as well. I am trying to take a minute at the end of the day to enjoy that first time for whatever it was that day, even if it is cleaning up puke off of everything around.

Earlier this week, I went to the annual Northridge show (http://www.northridgechurch.com/Events/GloryOfChristmas.asp) and was pleasantly surprised. This put me in the mood for Christmas! I love holidays, in general, but Christmas is one that can get a little hectic with lots of parties and things to do. I am one of those people who can get all caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season without pausing to remember what it is that we are really celebrating, until it’s almost over. This year is a little different, because I’m starting off with a great reminder of the birth of Christ as well as His death and resurrection that are intimately connected to that birth. In addition to this reminder, the performance had several rather humorous numbers with Christmas carols and dancing and also a wonderful and moving rendition of Happy Birthday, Jesus sung by my very favorite six-year-old! Hannah did such a great job singing, it brought tears to my eyes. The women in front of me (who were not church goers at all) were equally impressed and moved by Hannah’s song. It was neat to hear them talking about it from a very different perspective and yet appreciating it just as much!

I don’t like changes. I am coming to realize that when things change it can be hard, and there are lots of changes happening all around me all the time. Some changes are good and yet they can still be very difficult, like, for instance, a marriage or new baby. Some changes are good for some and not others, like a friend moving away. Some changes seem bad all around, like an illness or loss.

I am dealing with all of these types of changes. Josiah is a great baby, but adjusting to have two kids is still work and I’m not always sure what to do or how to manage. I, believe it or not, have lost my cool a few times and don’t like to not be in control and perfect. One of my closest friend is almost definitely moving to Boulder in a very short time. I know that our relationship won’t be the same. We’ll keep in touch, but it is never the same as when you meet together in person regularly. That’s really sad to me. I’m still trying to adjust to my sister moving across the country… Change is hard, but usually exactly what we need. Who would want to live a life that’s the same all the time? It’s great to make new friends and move on in what God has next for us. Obedience is better than security or comfort.

One thing that I love about my husband (there are many, many things I love and this is just one of those things…) is that he likes me more than our kids. Every so often, we will get a sitter (Grandma) and go on a date. We did that this weekend and it was really refreshing. We went to a movie, which was so bad that we had to leave the theatre. We were both embarrassed that we were exposed to such depravity and a little ticked off that we spent almost $20 to waste an hour of our lives and assault our eyes and ears. Anyway, after splitting from the movie early, we went to dinner at J. Alexander’s and talked. I have come to realize that while I really appreciate acts of service as a sign of love, my main need is for quality time.

It makes me sad when I hear that other couples don’t take time to continue dating after they are married or have kids. In my opinion, it’s so important and keeps me young. I was talking to a friend and she said that her husband and her haven’t been on a date since their 3 year old was born. I was shocked; she then said that her husband loves their daughter and would rather spend time with their little girl than with her. That made me so sad. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like she was fine with this and didn’t see it as unusual or even something that should or could be different. I think that she also likes her daughter more than her spouse and maybe it’s partly because they’re both playing 2nd fiddle to the sweet child in their lives. At any rate, I believe that love and fun don’t end with marriage, if you keep dating!

I know that moms and Christians aren’t supposed to like Halloween for various reasons, but I really do like this holiday. I don’t like everything about it – I hate scary movies and anything related to spiders freaks me out. However, I love the idea of getting dressed up and of running around in costumes to get candy. I love how on this one night all of our neighbors have their lights on and doors open to welcome and greet anyone who walks by. I thoroughly enjoy seeing the kids and parents out together and hearing the calls & reminders of what to say and do. Attending parties for Halloween is fun too. Bobbing for apples, donut hangs, mystery substances to stick your hands into searching for a prize, and costume contests are a hoot and good, if not clean, fun. This holiday has a history of darkness and bad stuff, but it is really easy not to even see or notice that stuff, especially if you try to avoid it, and instead appreciate Halloween as a celebration of fall and all the great stuff that comes with my favorite season – pumpkins, the changing colors and falling of the leaves, cider and donuts, apples, cute costumes, and lots of sweet treats! What’s not to like?!

It’s 10pm and after a long, rainy day, I’m beat. Yet, my daughter is screaming and fighting sleep like I’ve never seen her do. My husband just puked out his guts. My newborn is wide awake and a little gassy (so not too happy either). It’s going to be a short night (or a long one, if you know what I mean).

It’s almost time for Josiah to eat again, so this will be quick. But, changes are taking place now. My new baby is starting to sleep better (ie longer) at night and my big girl is starting to speak in sentences and make her desires clearly known. This means, that by the grace of God, just as I need more patience, I am getting more sleep, which invariably helps with the patience… Yeah!

Also, the house hasn’t changed nearly as much as I’d imagined for having a newborn. Going from 0-1 child rocks your world (or at least it did mine), but going from 1-2 kids was a walk in the park and things are basically the same as before, except that there is another baby to take care of. So, the really changes are in the level of noise in the house and the amount of time it takes to get things done – both growing with more children. Also, the amount of love has grown as well and the pleasure at watching them develop and do the things that kids do.

Change is not always bad. In fact, I think I like all of these changes, even the trying ones (like Eila drawing on the walls and floor and peeing on the chair rather than in the potty…)