Shannon Yee

I used to think that I was a balanced person who knew when to say no, even if I didn’t always know how to do so in the best way. But now, I am feeling very over-committed and am not sure how I got this way. What’s more I have still more things that I’d like to be involved in and yet know that I really cannot do anything else.

A wise woman (my mom) recently chided me that it’s better to do one thing well than to do a million things. That gentle reminder has been haunting me as I have been praying over and deciding what and how to do everything. There are lots of areas of life that I am passionate about and even more that I’m interested in and even more that I like might be cool. Some of these include: almost anything my husband cares deeply about or is pursuing for the moment (photography, music, astronomy & space travel, but not computer games), mothering and helping mothers, discipleship, language learning and teaching, breastfeeding, scripture study and memorization, being healthy – exercise and food, and especially building relationships with family and friends.

I can’t do everything, but I want to. It seems like the trick is to figure out how to make as many of my interests overlap as possibly, so that I can do it all. Really, I think the trick is being content with what God has for me right now and not running ahead or lagging behind him. I really am like a toddler in *so* many ways. If only I could master that favorite word of toddlers! Hee hee.

Of course, there are some things, I have no trouble saying no to, but those are probably the things I should be saying yes to!

Some friends and I are starting up a portable preschool co-op for our two-year-olds. This adventure seemed to us like a good idea. We have a wealth of resources – moms who are trained teachers and love kids, homes where we can meet, books, puzzles, toys, music, art supplies, creativity, and of course, energetic children. And, it is a lot less expensive that a Christian preschool or the International one where I was considering sending Eila (and may still at a later time).
Originally, we planned to have one mom teach and one mom assist, but it turns out that we all need to be present to control our children and establish the routine, so for a while we are all meeting (with younger siblings) and trying to learn how to do preschool. We will transition to the two adults to five kids ratio, but it’s still a bit unrealistic.
Fortunately, we all seem to share similar expectations for what the kids can do and learn. It is fun seeing them adjust to circletime, sitting and listening as well as participating and raising their hands. They love to dance and sing and eat (who doesn’t) and are getting better at sharing and taking turns. I wonder how long until we can start doing more than one story during circletime. I bet it would go better if three of the teachers weren’t wearing babies as well as trying to teach and coral toddlers…

It really works. I find it very cheesy to practice and be practiced on, but I always feel listened to and cared for. It is especially helpful in difficult relationships or situations. Everyone has times where you just don’t know how to respond to someone, but reflective listening has really helped reduce these occurrences for me. Reflective Listening is a technique to really listen and love others. The basic idea is that you start with a hedger and then state the feeling and thought of what you just heard.

I often want Brian to listen to me, to help me problem solve, to care and share in my life & experiences. The most helpful use for me recently has been when a friend has been gossiping. I used to never know what to say and still frequently forget or don’t think to really listen, but when I do, the gossip changes from gossip about someone else to really sharing about self and growing up personally. It is a privilege to be able to participate in someone’s growth just by listening and caring for them, especially when it could have been a very negative situation resulting in hurt and pain.
Here are some other useful articles on reflective listening:

from Communication in Organizations

7 Don’ts

Are You Listening? (PDF)

Last night was the annual Ladies’ Tea at my church and the speaker was the best yet, in my opinion. Liz shared about how we should smell, look, and sound good. She used several passages from the book of 2 Corinthians. She reminded me that I am the aroma of Christ to those around me. That is a sweet fragrance of self-sacrifice and love with compassion and humility. I should smell good so that others will want to be near me and know more about Christ. 2 Corinthians 2:15 Cheryl, our party planner, read a poem to start off the night that was about a lump of clay becoming a beautiful tea cup in the skilled Master’s hands. Liz talked about how we are to look good too because we are reflecting the glory of God. We all have flaws and cracks and it is through those holes that God’s light shines. When I, a pot of clay, have the glory of God, the greatest treasure, filling me up, others can see Him shining in me. 2 Corinthians 4:7, Finally, there was a challenge to sound good, ie. not complain about the temporary struggles because I know I’m going to a better place eventually – this isn’t all there is. She told a story about how tents are for memories, not for living in all the time. That’s how our bodies are too… 2 Corinthians 5:1 & Romans 8:23.

It was a good reminder to me and I hope that you also will be encouraged to let Christ dwell in your richly, so that others will see and glorify your Father in heaven!

I am always learning and want to always continue learning. This week these are some things that I’ve learned:

Eila notices and remembers everything – or at least much more than I previously gave her credit for.Josiah needs a routine too.

Hiding God’s word in my heart really does help me not sin against Him.

If I want to leave the house with everyone dressed, I have to take each person to the car as soon as s/he is ready to go or start the process over from the beginnning.

Patience may be a virtue, but it is not one of mine.

Brian doesn’t like me telling him what to do.

Eila doesn’t like that either.

Asking forgiveness is hard, but extending grace is just as tough.

Being forgiven and forgiving are amazing gifts and worth every ounce of effort.

I feel lost without email; sad, eh?

The more I pray, the more I want to pray.

Laundry does not take care of itself.

Neither do the dishes or any household cleaning tasks.

Saying “I’m so happy!” can make things seem a lot better than they did before, even if they aren’t any better. It helps to lift your hands up to the sky and smile while saying this, and even add a little hop.

At our church, we’ve been having spiritual check-ups where each person at church has the opportunity to fill out a brief questionnaire with questions about spiritual health and then meet with our pastor for 15 minutes or so to get a prescription for growth or whatever is needed. So, I took full advantage of this and was challenged to make a plan for scripture memory for myself and my toddler to do together over the next 30 days. I found and ordered a set of verses designed for kids under 5 years old to use for memory (Foundation Verses from Desiring God). So, Eila and I are about to embark on an adventure of spending 5 minutes each day working on these verses. Today is our first day. She is already a little copycat, so I’m thinking that she’ll have the first verse memorized by tomorrow and be ready for the next one, while I’ll still be reading it and not have it down until next month. I guess I’m afraid that my two-year old will show me up in knowledge of the Bible. But, I guess that is a great thing and as I think about it, I can’t wait for that to happen. I’ll let you know how it all goes down. Hopefully, straight to the heart and mind to be used daily!

Hard, but necessary. I always like to be right and fight hard to prove that I am even when I really know that I’m not. I tend to believe the lie that if I’m wrong, I’m a failure and deserve to be punished or at the very least not to be loved.

I recently made one of my more obnoxious attempts to be right despite all evidence to the contrary. Eila, however, is just as determined as I am and proved me wrong. She was NOT ready to be done with her pacifier, despite my frustration with her having it. She simply could not adjust to all the changes that have occurred in the past few weeks – moving out of her crib, then into a twin bed and then no pacifier. Losing her pacifier was the straw that broke the camels back. Eila just went right over the edge into crazy, crazy toddler. She couldn’t cope and couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep without her pacifier, so instead she’d just cry. This constant screaming made me crazy as well and this is not a good combination. In the end, I had to apologize to Eila for trying to make her grow up too fast and depriving her of sleep and getting angry at her for not meeting my expectations and demands. Fortunately, she was all too glad to have her pacifier back that she quickly forgave me and said a heartfelt “Thank you” as she climbed under the covers and went straight to sleep.

Just think, if I weren’t so stupid and stubborn, we all could’ve slept lots more in the past two weeks and saved ourselves a lot of irritation! All in the name of being right…

When a person understand two language but speaks only one of them they are considered to be a passive bilingual.

I am very sad to say it, but I am contemplating giving up on Eila as she has entered that passively bilingual stage that can last a lifetime (literally) and it is harder and harder to continue speaking to her in a minority language that is not my first language especially when she responds in another language. I spend a lot of time mixing the languages already and it irritates and confuses me, so I can only imagine what her brain is doing to sort it all out.

Right now, Eila is learning gobs and gobs of new words and phrases each day. This is very excited and extremely helpful in understanding what she wants and needs. Yet, I’m finding myself a little more disappointed at the end of each day as I realize that her vocabulary in English is already almost as good as mine in French. It’s also discouraging because she almost always responds in English. When she learns a new word in French, she’ll use it until she learns that word in English and then she drops the French word for the English. For example, last week when it snowed, we talked all about “la neige” and Eila blabbed on and on about water and cold and snow in French and then she learned that “la neige” is snow in English and I haven’t heard a thing in French, but she is talking about snow in English at least once a day.

Intellectually, I realized that this was the way it would most likely be. This is the standard way that kids in a bilingual home with a minority language spoken at home function. This is why so many parents give up (especially when they also know the majority language well and don’t see a great need or use for the minority language in everyday life). It is hard to speak to your kids in one language when they respond in a different language. It sort of messes with the brain and strange combinations of both languages come out.

Emotionally, though, I’m feeling discouraged and even a little like I fighting a losing battle. I see the benefits and have already put in a lot of work, but wonder if it isn’t a waste of energy and brainpower. There are so many things that I want to teach my kids and among the most important are things like: loving God and others and being respectful and kind. Speaking another language is a nice thing, but not essential for the end result of a person who loves God with all heart, soul, body, and mind.

For now, I continue to speak in French and hope that it will do more good than harm for Eila’s development. She’s learning lots of sign language too and using that frequently, so we’ll see what God has in store for us.

To read more about passive bilingualism, see:

http://www.multilingual-matters.net/beb/005/beb0050162.htm
http://www.bklein.de/buc_categorize.html
http://www.ascac.org/papers/bilingualism.html
http://www.terralingua.org/DiscPapers/DiscPaper4.html

There is a first time for everything. Today was my first time to be thrown up on by someone other than myself. I didn’t like it at all, but I didn’t join in, which is much better than I’d ever expected. There is some truth to that being a mom and not being bothered by some things as much. You just have to hold your breath and do what needs to be done.

Yesterday was Eila’s first time really seeing snow (at least that she can remember). She was hilarious. I’ve never seen anyone so excited about snow. I always enjoy watching the first snow, but driving in it isn’t the best. Well, we were taking a trip to the mall and the entire car ride was spent talking about the snow and how it’s cold and windy and pretty and white and basically just wonderful! It was refreshing to be reminded of the beauty around me in such a simple way. Eila was even more excited when we played in the snow for a few minutes after we got back home.

The first time that I knew my baby was smiling at me was one of the most precious things. There are lots of memorable first times for me: buying a house, running a marathon, going to a UM football game, and hearing Eila say “t’aime” (love you) are just a few of the more interesting ones. It’s remarkable how each day we do so many things that we did the day before and yet there is usually something new there as well. I am trying to take a minute at the end of the day to enjoy that first time for whatever it was that day, even if it is cleaning up puke off of everything around.

I don’t like changes. I am coming to realize that when things change it can be hard, and there are lots of changes happening all around me all the time. Some changes are good and yet they can still be very difficult, like, for instance, a marriage or new baby. Some changes are good for some and not others, like a friend moving away. Some changes seem bad all around, like an illness or loss.

I am dealing with all of these types of changes. Josiah is a great baby, but adjusting to have two kids is still work and I’m not always sure what to do or how to manage. I, believe it or not, have lost my cool a few times and don’t like to not be in control and perfect. One of my closest friend is almost definitely moving to Boulder in a very short time. I know that our relationship won’t be the same. We’ll keep in touch, but it is never the same as when you meet together in person regularly. That’s really sad to me. I’m still trying to adjust to my sister moving across the country… Change is hard, but usually exactly what we need. Who would want to live a life that’s the same all the time? It’s great to make new friends and move on in what God has next for us. Obedience is better than security or comfort.